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UPS airlines (funny)

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/25/2008 at 14:47
Chris Farris View Drop Down
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UPS Airlines

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only  a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form,  called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the  aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the  form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next  flight.
 
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of  humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS   pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S)by maintenance engineers.
 
By the way, UPS is the only major airline  that has never, ever, had an accident.
 
 
P: Left inside  main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main  tire.
 
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S:  Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
 
P: Something loose in  cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
 
P: Dead bugs on  windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
 
P: Autopilot in  altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot  reproduce problem on ground.
 
P: Evidence of leak on right main  landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
 
P: DME volume unbelievably  loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.  

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/25/2008 at 14:51
Bigdaddy0381 View Drop Down
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P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.  Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer  away from midget
 
 
Thats a good one there. Had me in tears
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/25/2008 at 15:10
BeltFed View Drop Down
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I've got a friend who used to be a A&P mechanic, and they had a similar form. One of their pilots had a problem with the auto-pilot, and noted it on the form. When he got the sheet back the replie was E.S.T.O.. The piot asked my friend what E.S.T.O. meant. My friend looked at the pilot and said "equipment smarter than operator".
 
I work at the airport that the UPS hub is located at, and I have met many UPS pilots (aka flying truck drivers), and I believe Chris.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/25/2008 at 18:47
Dale Clifford View Drop Down
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whats even funnier is that a great deal of traffic of UPS and USPS is carried by FEDex jets.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/25/2008 at 19:14
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Some of the answers that the ground support crew are giving, LOL They make me proud. 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/25/2008 at 19:16
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Hmmm... Odd that UPS would have a "target radar" and an IFF (Identification Friend or Foe).

Edited by Kickboxer - July/25/2008 at 19:18
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/25/2008 at 19:48
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I first heard this as an Air Force joke which makes more sense with targeting radar and IFF.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/25/2008 at 20:11
BeltFed View Drop Down
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Most the UPS pilots are ex-military so it still works. They are a good bunch of guys, but they are still pilots.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/25/2008 at 21:06
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Stick actuator is the preferd term, rather than pilot...
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/26/2008 at 10:30
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 That is hilarious ! Having built those birds for years and did  structural repairs ... they hit home . I miss those guys in the plant and some of the crazy stuff that was done and said ...
you can't imagine ... can't count how many times men and women were caught in areas in the planes ... goin at it !  DON'T EVER LET YOUR WIFE work at an aircraft  factory !  Mouth%20Taped%20Shut
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/26/2008 at 13:30
martin3175 View Drop Down
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can you say midget anymore ?? politically correct or is it "height handicapped?"

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/26/2008 at 17:37
cyborg View Drop Down
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I believe they prefer the term VERTICALLY CHALLENGED
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