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Too close to true to be THAT funny

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/12/2009 at 13:30
budperm View Drop Down
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AS more and more companies lay-off workers this gets less and less funny!
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Dear employees, 
 
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
 
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
 
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
 
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much sh*t (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of sh*t it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough sh*t, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the sh*t you can handle.
 
Sincerely, The Management
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/12/2009 at 13:33
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Shocked This was the company policy where I worked.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/12/2009 at 13:45
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Originally posted by cyborg cyborg wrote:

Shocked This was the company policy where I worked.
 
Yeah, Things at Black & Decker are starting to get bad,  If the USA doesn't start  building new things soon I am afraid that will be B&D!  Industrial power tools sales are way down!
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/14/2009 at 16:34
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Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

If the USA doesn't start  building new things soon I am afraid that will be B&D! 
 
 
How about 50 million electric cars and trucks, 50 nuclear power plants, 20 million wind turbines, and 100 million solar panels installed on every house, schoolhouse, outhouse, and doghouse in the country?
 
How about a new Eisenhower plan, only this time with high speed trains instead of interstate highways, and sidewalks, bike trails, and mass transit light rail in every town and city over 100,000 people?
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/14/2009 at 16:34
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Originally posted by anweis anweis wrote:

Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

If the USA doesn't start  building new things soon I am afraid that will be B&D! 
 
 
How about 50 million electric cars and trucks, 50 nuclear power plants, 20 million wind turbines, and 100 million solar panels installed on every house, schoolhouse, outhouse, and doghouse in the country?
 
How about a new Eisenhower plan, only this time with high speed electric trains instead of interstate highways, and sidewalks, bike trails, and mass transit light rail in every town and city over 100,000 people?
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/14/2009 at 18:40
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Originally posted by anweis anweis wrote:

Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

If the USA doesn't start  building new things soon I am afraid that will be B&D! 
 
 
How about 50 million electric cars and trucks, 50 nuclear power plants, 20 million wind turbines, and 100 million solar panels installed on every house, schoolhouse, outhouse, and doghouse in the country?
 
How about a new Eisenhower plan, only this time with high speed trains instead of interstate highways, and sidewalks, bike trails, and mass transit light rail in every town and city over 100,000 people?
 
   Not to sure about the nuclear power stufff but definitely to teh rest!!!  I was just looking into Solar for my house but at $4.50 a watt it isn't cost effective yet.  There is a new litho process that turns out solar cells at about $1 a watt but they are only selling to internal power industry!!! Screwing the public again!!!!  Otherwise for about $10K we could all have 3-5KW solar plants on the home roof (gridbased) and make more than we use annually!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/15/2009 at 15:27
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The solar stuff is only going to get better and cheaper. The research has only began.
We need the nuclear power plants because they are cleaner than coal and make plenty of energy when there is no wind and sun - and to power the trains.
How about this one: a refrigerator sized hydrogen fuel cell in your basement, that provides electricity, hot water, heating, and cooling? Sounds crazy? There is an Italian company that wants to start building them and selling them in USA.
As far as Detroit goes, i am not the least sorry for Rick Wagoner (CEO). We should have had his head on a silver platter already. But i wish that they could manufacture this:
At 100,000 manufactured per year, they would cost less.
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/15/2009 at 18:14
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Originally posted by anweis anweis wrote:

The solar stuff is only going to get better and cheaper. The research has only began.
We need the nuclear power plants because they are cleaner than coal and make plenty of energy when there is no wind and sun - and to power the trains.
How about this one: a refrigerator sized hydrogen fuel cell in your basement, that provides electricity, hot water, heating, and cooling? Sounds crazy? There is an Italian company that wants to start building them and selling them in USA.
As far as Detroit goes, i am not the least sorry for Rick Wagoner (CEO). We should have had his head on a silver platter already. But i wish that they could manufacture this:
At 100,000 manufactured per year, they would cost less.
 
 
I actually like the fuel cell idea but don't like the hydrogen's explosiveness.  Hydrogen storage would be a pain for the average consumer. 
 
If they would license the lithography process and build a few more manufacturing plants, we could put grid based solar systems in the 3-5KW range on every house in no time.  The would just about wipe out residental power requirements from other sources.  It will never happen cause they couldn't make money that way.
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