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The laws you thought you knew

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/14/2014 at 16:01
jonoMT View Drop Down
Optics Master Extraordinaire
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Joined: November/13/2008
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Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
 
Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
 
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
 
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
 
Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
 
Law of the Bath  - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
 
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
 
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
 
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
 
Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
 
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
 
Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
 
Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
 
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
 
Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
 
Law of Public Speaking - A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
 
Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
 
Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/14/2014 at 16:03
Peddler View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/14/2014 at 16:10
RifleDude View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/14/2014 at 18:26
Son of Ed View Drop Down
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Moral of the story:  leave your Johnson hanging out while you work....
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2014 at 07:49
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Big Grin  LOL
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2014 at 10:51
stickbow46 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2014 at 07:21
budperm View Drop Down
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show me your sheep!!

Joined: January/01/2009
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OH BOY.... MONDAY LIGHT READING....    Smile

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2014 at 15:05
BeltFed View Drop Down
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All of the above Laws are true and factual. I have proven each and every one of them. I'll even add one more.

The law of waiting at home for important phone calls or appointments-If they are late, just go to the bathroom and they will arrive or call.

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2014 at 15:32
budperm View Drop Down
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show me your sheep!!

Joined: January/01/2009
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But only after your seated and busy.... the ring reminds you that the receiver is still sitting on the couch you just vacated...

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2014 at 18:55
stickbow46 View Drop Down
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The law of boiling water: Ever notice how it slows down when your watching & waiting [:}
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