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Stuck in space for 14 years..please help.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 01:03
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2010/11/18

DID you know there’s a poor astronaut stranded on a space station in the stratosphere? I didn’t. What’s more, he’s been stuck there for 14 years.

To say that I was shocked is an understatement. I read and watch the news every single day and I didn’t have an inkling.

What’s even more amazing is that I – yes, little old me – can help to get him back home.

Dr Bakare Tunde is his cousin and he told me about it, via one Jonny P, a digital advertising creative who shared the sad news on his website, hurtybrain.blogspot.com.

Dr Tunde is Major Abacha Tunde’s cousin and he’s understandably quite worried about this relative of his.

In a “strictly confidential” request for assistance, the good doctor explains that Major Tunde was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z, to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989.

“He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved,” says Dr Tunde. “His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humour, but wants to come home.”

I’ll bet he does.

Anyway, the good news is that in the 14 years he’s been there he’s still been getting paid so he’s managed to accumulate, including the interest, a whopping US15000000 (about R105m), currently held in a trust for him at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association.

“If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down-payment with the Russian space authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth,” explains his worried cuz. “I am told this will cost US3000000. In order to access his trust fund we need your assistance.”

Well, of course they do.

Unfortunately, as civil servants, Dr Tunde and his colleagues are prevented by the Code of Conduct Bureau (“Civil Service Laws”, he explains) from opening and/or operating foreign accounts in their names.

By now the poor things are so desperate to get this brave astronaut relative back – I would be, too, wouldn’t you? – they’re even willing to appeal to complete strangers like you and me.

“Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous,” Dr Tunde emphasises. To be fair, they don’t expect anyone to do this huge favour for nothing.

“In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.” I have a direct number for dear Dr Tunde should you be interested ….

As Jonny P says: Isn’t this is the best Nigerian scam EVER?

Today’s Chiel is Stevie Godson. E-mail her at stevieg@dispatch.co.za

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EXPERIENCE is simply the name we give our mistakes

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 06:11
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Tell the space brother to keep sending post cards from the station and not to hold his breath.........
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 07:07
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Sadly someone will fall for it though.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 07:23
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that is the most rediculous scam ever.

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 07:45
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Oh, we do this all the time...  how do you think all those congressmen come into office with nothing/owing millions and within a few short years become millionaires ( a recent study finds that over half of U.S. congressmen are multi-millionaires and the average "worth" of the other half is nearly 3/4 of a million dollars (U.S.) all within 4 years of coming to office.)  If it were not for the humanitarian efforts of these public servants, I'm sure that the fortunes of our stranded spacemen would be wasted.  Congressmen, of course, are able to identify these humanitarian projects, mostly before we ever hear of them, and take their small humanitarian fee in order to fund future election campaigns.  No telling how many spacemen have been recovered under much the same circumstances.  You skeptics... you'll never "hit the big time"...

After all, Nigeria has SO much money to give to the U.S. ...  (wouldn't that just be giving our money back to us????)  I've been offered about $100M this week alone by Nigerian benefactors.  I decided to let our underpaid FBI personnel deal with it and make all the money, though.  Never get a response from the FBI on this... I guess they just retire and live out lives of leisure...
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 10:25
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At least that's one of the more creative pitches. By now though, my calculations suggest that our poor astronaut friend has run his own excrement through a Soviet-made food recycler (same ones they used to feed their citizens from 1973-1989) at least 2,459 times. After a while, it really starts to taste the same.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 10:57
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show me your sheep!!

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Why can't they try something more honest and up lifting?!?!?!?
Something like TV Evangelism
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 11:06
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They dont have enough money to bring him back but they have sent him resupply shipments every now and again for the last 14 years. Even if it were true thats is stupidity right there.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 13:14
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Amazing. Whacko
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 13:52
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show me your sheep!!

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Originally posted by saitotiktmdog saitotiktmdog wrote:

They dont have enough money to bring him back but they have sent him resupply shipments every now and again for the last 14 years. Even if it were true thats is stupidity right there.
But they were very little ships cause they only had to transport happy meals! Cool
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 14:58
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  LOL!!!!!!   And I can guarantee that with his mind where it would be he'd just LUV the toys.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 15:22
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You cold hearted bass-turds! I contacted the e-mail and sent them the 30 million that they wanted to save this poor brave soul, and another 5million for his medical needs because being in weightless space for 14 years will be devastating to him when he returns to normal gravity..................................................................I just hope 35 million in Monopoly money will be enough.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 15:27
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 Probably be worth more than our money by next week.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 15:42
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Chief Sackscratch

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Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

You cold hearted bass-turds! I contacted the e-mail and sent them the 30 million that they wanted to save this poor brave soul, and another 5million for his medical needs because being in weightless space for 14 years will be devastating to him when he returns to normal gravity..................................................................I just hope 35 million in Monopoly money will be enough.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Your Too Kind
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 15:55
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Thank you. Think nothing of itCool
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2010 at 21:50
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I'm gonna send the guy a bowl of mealie ........ collect !! 
 
 
 
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/19/2010 at 09:44
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That was mighty considerate of you, Lynn.  A real heart of gold.  I'm going to add all the Monopoly money I have... I think we have 4 "games", so it will be considerable.  It's been sitting around unused for years.  Your generosity is a true incentive...
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/19/2010 at 10:06
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Lynn leads by example and others follow.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/19/2010 at 10:17
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show me your sheep!!

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Is that what happened!!!  Lynn left t he door open AGIAN!!!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/19/2010 at 13:42
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Laugh AboveRoll on Floor LaughingLaugh
I feel so honored now.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/19/2010 at 13:55
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show me your sheep!!

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good thing your wife didn't find that open door first!!! Smile
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