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TEAM SWFA - Admin
Subject: Sports quotes
"Last year we couldn't win at home and we were
losing on the road. My failure as a coach was
that I couldn't think of anyplace else to play.
- Harry Neale, professional hockey coach
"Blind people come to the ballpark just to listen to him pitch."
- Reggie Jackson commenting on Tom Seaver
"I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at
the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything will
- Doug Sanders, professional golfer
"All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat
guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'"
- Mickey Lolich, DetroitTigers Pitcher
"When it's third and ten, you can have the milk drinkers; I'll take
the whiskey drinkers every time."
- Max McGee, Green Bay Packers receiver
"I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty
percent of the people who hear them don't care and the other twenty
percent are glad you're having them."
- Tommy LaSorda ,LA Dodgers manager
"My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget."
- E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his 12 knee operations
"My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and make it hit your
mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead,
your chances aren't as good."
- Vic Braden, tennis instructor
"When they operated, I told them to add in a Koufax fastball. They did
but unfortunately it twas Mrs. Koufax's."
- Tommy John N.Y. Yankees, recalling his 1974 arm surgery
"I don't know. I only played there for nine years."
- WaltGarrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles
"We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle,
three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost."
- John Breen, HoustonOilers
"The film looks suspiciously like the game itself."
- Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the AtlantaFalcons
"When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo."
- Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher
"I have discovered in 20 years of moving around the ball park, that
the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the
price of the seats."
- Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox owner
"Because if it didn't work out, I didn't want to blow the whole day."
- Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon.
"I have a lifetime contract. That means I can't be fired during the
third quarter if we're ahead and moving the ball."
- Lou Holtz ,Arkansas football coach
"I won't know until my barber tells me on Monday."
- Knute Rockne, when asked why Notre Dame had lost a game
"I tell him 'Attaway to hit, George.'"
- Jim Frey, K.C. Royals manager when asked what advice he gives George Brett on hitting
"I learned a long time ago that 'minor surgery' is when they do the
operation on someone else, not you."
- Bill Walton, PortlandTrial Blazers
"Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash."
- George MacIntyre, Vanderbilt football coach surveying the team roster that included 26 freshmen and 25 sophomores.
"The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to
watch the films on Sunday."
- Rick Venturi, Northwestern football coach
Optics Jedi Master
Chuckle, chuckle. Those were great.
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
Location: West of Rockies
"Oh, you can stick me in some kind of Italian boat because that one is GON-DO-LA"
-Jim Brockmire, Broadcasting Legend
Fish to Live, Live to Hunt
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too!"
Raiders LB Matt Millen, in response to Joe Jacoby's comment that he'd "run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl"
"Because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye!"
The late coach Bum Phillips, on why he brought his wife with him on road games
"I don't think there's anyone in this organization not focused on the 49ers... I mean, Chargers."
Coach Bill Belichick
Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS "RUSTIC"
Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
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