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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/08/2015 at 20:52
helo18 View Drop Down
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I'll just leave this here.

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, 
Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this 
reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 
million (according to the population reference bureau). Assuming an 
average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that computes to 108 million homes - presuming there is at least one good child in 
each. 

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the 
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to 
west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per 
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good 
child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop 
out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the 
remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left 
for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh, and get onto 
the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is 
evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be 
false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are 
now talking about 0.78 miles per household. This amounts to a total 
trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. 

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest 
man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4miles 
per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles 
per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. 

Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO 
set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, 
not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can 
pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" 
reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done 
with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. 
This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, 
another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen 
Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650 
miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up 
the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the 
earth's atmosphere. 

The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of 
energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames 
almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and 
creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer 
team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right 
about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it 
matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a 
dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to 
acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems 
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 
4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs 
and reducing him to a dribbling mess of twitching innards. 

Therefore, if Santa ever did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas everybody.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 06:58
BeltFed View Drop Down
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And that's why uncle Andrew was never asked to read "The Night Before Christmas" to the kids again.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 07:38
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 08:36
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This probably doesn't help his schedule.....






Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 08:37
BeltFed View Drop Down
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Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:



This probably doesn't help his schedule.....







Might explain all those births in September.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 10:58
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Of course you know Santa REALLY only visits the GOOD kids, so at the MOST he only has to make 5 or 6 stops. All the rest of the kids are falsely subsidized by their parents to raise their self esteemDevil
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 17:13
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 17:58
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Drew, hope you were in the hot tub with the bisquit!!!



Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 18:00
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Drew, forgot to say that was a whole pile of Reindeer pooooooop!

    
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 18:07
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Originally posted by helo18 helo18 wrote:

I'll just leave this here.

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, 
Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this 
reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 
million (according to the population reference bureau). Assuming an 
average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that computes to 108 million homes - presuming there is at least one good child in 
each. 

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the 
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to 
west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per 
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good 
child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop 
out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the 
remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left 
for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh, and get onto 
the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is 
evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be 
false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are 
now talking about 0.78 miles per household. This amounts to a total 
trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. 

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest 
man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4miles 
per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles 
per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. 

Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO 
set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, 
not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can 
pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" 
reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done 
with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. 
This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, 
another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen 
Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650 
miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up 
the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the 
earth's atmosphere. 

The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of 
energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames 
almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and 
creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer 
team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right 
about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it 
matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a 
dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to 
acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems 
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 
4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs 
and reducing him to a dribbling mess of twitching innards. 

Therefore, if Santa ever did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas everybody.
"tme travels with him…"
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/09/2015 at 19:12
Peddler View Drop Down
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Well lets get back to the bisquits then.



Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/10/2015 at 09:29
helo18 View Drop Down
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That tub looks inviting!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: December/10/2015 at 09:38
BeltFed View Drop Down
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Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

Of course you know Santa REALLY only visits the GOOD kids, so at the MOST he only has to make 5 or 6 stops. All the rest of the kids are falsely subsidized by their parents to raise their self esteemDevil

A select few of the brattiest kids are hauled up the chimneys by the Christmas goblins and gobbled up like so many rum cookiesDevil
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