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Recruitment Improvement

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2009 at 13:58
Dogger View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Knight
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Joined: January/02/2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 5348
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

 For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.  Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000  additional seconds per day to concentration the enemy.  
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts!    I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
 
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get  up before 10 am. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....

 If  captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
 
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.  We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. 
We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. 
 
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.
 I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any 
pushups after completing basic training.
  Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

 An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl.  He still hasn't figured out that a  baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

 These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..
  
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see  is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
  
***How about recruiting menopausal Women over 50???
 You think men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
 
If nothing else, put them on border patrol....
 they will have it secured the first night!
 
Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2009 at 16:06
Longhunter View Drop Down
Optics Journeyman
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Joined: February/02/2006
Status: Offline
Points: 422
From somewhere:
 
Don't pick a fight with an old man.  If he's not up to it physically, he'll just kill you!


Edited by Longhunter - September/11/2009 at 16:17
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2009 at 17:33
Sgt. D View Drop Down
Optics Master Extraordinaire
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Joined: February/20/2008
Location: North Carolina
Status: Offline
Points: 3641
Excellent  +10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/11/2009 at 23:42
Steelbenz View Drop Down
Optics Master Extraordinaire
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ROLL TIDE ROLL

Joined: January/03/2006
Location: Heart of Dixie
Status: Offline
Points: 4907
" Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it. "

did you read this?

We need BIG LETTERS!!!  LOL
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/12/2009 at 08:59
bugsNbows View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Master
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bowsNbugs

Joined: March/10/2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 9286
Truer words never spoken. Maybe enlist menopausal women too. Hippie
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/12/2009 at 18:05
Urimaginaryfrnd View Drop Down
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Resident Redneck

Joined: June/20/2005
Location: Iowa
Status: Offline
Points: 13877
Well I've contended for years that George Washington wouldn't tell me I couldnt enlist at 53 with 50 yrs of shooting experience.  There is something inherently wrong with them telling me I cant go to war but my daughter can.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/14/2009 at 06:45
Ed Connelly View Drop Down
Optics Retard
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God of no Chihuahua

Joined: December/16/2007
Location: USA
Status: Offline
Points: 24220
Well, just do what I do..........Disobey and do whatever............
 
wait till Obama pulls some more crap......( TALK ABOUT CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE!!)   
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