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Reasons to think before you speak

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 12:14
Preston View Drop Down
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Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...

or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

 

 

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow

and asked loudly,

'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back

My husband didn't say a word...

he knew better.

 

 

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls..

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes,

I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store..

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

 

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a

variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day,my sister has never let me forget.

 

 

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release

some pent-up energy and ran amok.

I was finally able to grab hold of  her after receiving looks of disgust

and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

 

 

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands.

It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked

my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny

had not asked to go potty in a while.

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 12:29
pyro6999 View Drop Down
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Laugh good ones preston!!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 14:19
Dale Clifford View Drop Down
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wife and I had painted the dining room falsetto blue, went with her to the hardware store to get another can of paint, where she handed the guy the can and said with a straight face "a gallon of felliatio please".  I left.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 14:22
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Good one Dale.  And here I thought it was you we couldn't take anywhere!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 14:25
trigger29 View Drop Down
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Originally posted by Dale Clifford Dale Clifford wrote:

wife and I had painted the dining room falsetto blue, went with her to the hardware store to get another can of paint, where she handed the guy the can and said with a straight face "a gallon of felliatio please".  I left.
Thanks Dale! My guts hurt from laughing at that. Can't believe you just left.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 14:27
Preston View Drop Down
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Thats a good one
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 16:10
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Dale, that is hilarious.  

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 19:07
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                                                     Roll on Floor Laughing
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 19:56
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Good Find!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/30/2009 at 00:00
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