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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2009 at 08:38
Dale Clifford View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Knight
Optics Jedi Knight

Joined: July/04/2004
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 5087
thought you might find amusement from this Gunsite post
PSALM 19:11
1. In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was THE pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said, thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's design for it is good and it worketh. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain.

2. And shouldst thou muck with it, and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm.

3. And as the ages passed, men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.

4. Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it.

5. And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and lose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the Great Battle.

6. And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunctions to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong.

7. Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.

8. And being a deceitful spirit, the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did appear to function.

9. And the Evil One also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a "dingus" to make them appear safe.

10. But man, being stupid, did not understand these new pistols and didst proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol and with the trigger-cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continue to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed.

11. And when man had been totally ensnared with the plastic pistol, the lord of the Underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible "Ka-Boom" to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land.

12. Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men, they didst begin to work as the prophet had intended.

13. And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by the followers of John.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2009 at 10:07
lucytuma View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Knight
Optics Jedi Knight

Joined: November/25/2007
Location: Wisconsin
Status: Offline
Points: 5389

Can I hear an Amen!

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2009 at 11:14
Dogger View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Knight
Optics Jedi Knight

Joined: January/02/2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 5339

Excellent Dale.

And the Lord sayeth, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it".

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2009 at 19:05
Urimaginaryfrnd View Drop Down
Resident Redneck

Joined: June/20/2005
Location: Iowa
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Points: 13821
1911  Thunbs Up
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/01/2009 at 19:32
budperm View Drop Down
Optics Retard
Optics Retard
show me your sheep!!

Joined: January/01/2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Status: Offline
Points: 27546
Lo and unto me did my grandfather bequeath, his Special Ops issued WWII Remington Rand 1911 upon which, a serial number does not appear. Still holstered in the original issued leather USA holster.  And with much nashing of teeth did I have this coveted 1911 evaluated and researched by my sisters boyfriend, a SWAT member of the Baltimore Police Force.  And gone it was for what seemed an eternity, until the memory of it had all but faded away.  Then lo and behold, one day it did again reappear.  And the SWAT member did say unto me.  Nay, your grandfather did not remove the serial number from said 1911.  It was in fact issued that way, officers of special ops were indeed issued non serialized personal sidearms.  Covet this gift and guard it closely he said unto me for this is a true collectors item worth several thousand dollars!!!!Eek And is still fully functional and shoots quite well. 
Covet it I do!  And one day, at the end of my life it will be bequeathed to my son...  Who is not so patiently waiting for he too knows its story and covets it also.
 Again I Say AMEN!!!
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