46 Things that Never Happen on Star Trek
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Topic: 46 Things that Never Happen on Star Trek
Posted By: koshkin
Subject: 46 Things that Never Happen on Star Trek
Date Posted: January/23/2007 at 00:15
- The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that
it has encountered before.
- The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists
who are all perfectly all right.
- The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called
Paradise, where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything
is soon revealed to be exactly as it seems.
- The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which
later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a
silly hat.
- The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague,
for which the cure is found in the well-stocked sick-bay.
- An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface
to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten
to bring the right leads.
- A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed by
the highly-trained and competent engineering staff as a faulty
capacitor.
- A power surge on the Bridge fails to electrocute the user of a
computer panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century surge
protection feature called a 'fuse'.
- The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another
without serious incident.
- The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence
which does not put them on trial.
- The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.
- The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange, and
dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame it
on in the end.
- The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence
which they easily pacify with candy.
- The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp phenomenon,
which is in no way connected with the 20th century.
- Somebody takes out a shuttle and it doesn't explode or crash.
- A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, and
some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's
satisfaction.
- The shields on the Enterprise stay up during a battle.
- The Enterprise visits the Klingon Home World on a bright, sunny
day.
- An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance is
discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt, if successful,
"would represent a fundamental shift of power throughout the
quadrant."
- A major character spends the entire episode in the Holodeck
without a single malfunction trapping him/her there.
- Picard hears the door chime and doesn't bother to say "Come."
- Picard doesn't answer a suggestion with "Make it so"!
- Picard walks up to a replicator and says, "Coke on ice."
- Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly
obvious.
- Mood rings come back in style, jeopardizing Counselor Troi's
position.
- Worf and Troi finally decide to get married, only to have Kate
Pulaski show up and disrupt the wedding by shouting, "Did he read you
love poetry?! Did he serve you poisonous tea?! He's MINE!"
- When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is entering
visual range no one says "On screen."
- Worf actually gives another vessel more than 2 seconds to respond
to one of the Enterprise's hails.
- Worf kills Wesley by mistake in the holodeck, (pity this wasn't
done in "Deja Vu" then we could have seen it 5 times without rewinding
the tape).
- Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy
git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age
for a change.
- Wesley saves the ship, the Federation, and the Universe as we know
it, and EVERYONE is grateful (including the Net).
- The warp engines start acting up a bit, but then seem to sort
themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius
Wesley Crusher.
- Wesley Crusher tries to upgrade the warp drive and they work
better than ever.
- Beverly Crusher manages to go through a whole episode without
having a hot flush and getting breathless every time Picard is in the
room.
- Guinan forgets herself, and breaks into a stand up comedy
routine.
- Data falls in love with the replicator.
- Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits,
and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.
[or: Kirk (or Riker) meets an attractive woman and does not fall in
love. -psl]
- The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced
people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime
Directive.
- An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to
tell the tale.
- Spock or Data is fired from his high-ranking position for not
being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three
sentences that anyone says to him.
- Kirk's hair remains consistent for more that 1 consecutive
episode.
- Kirk gets into a fistfight and doesn't rip his shirt.
(Or: Kirk DOESN'T get into a fistfight...)
- Kirk doesn't end up kissing the troubled guest-female before she
doesn't sacrifice herself for him.
- Scotty doesn't mention the laws of physics
- Spock isn't the only crew member not affected by new weapon/attack
by alien race/etc!! due to his "darn green blood" or "bizarre Vulcan
physiology" and thus he cannot save the day.
- The episode ends without Bones & Kirk laughing at Spock's
inability to qunderstand the joke, and he doesn't raise his eybrow.
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Replies:
Posted By: tahqua
Date Posted: January/24/2007 at 06:11
Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated into the Nikon collective
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Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: January/24/2007 at 12:55
Good going, T!!
------------- If at first you don't secede...try..try again.
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Posted By: Trinidad
Date Posted: January/24/2007 at 13:15
I have never seen Star Trek but I am a big fan of this sci-fi movie DUNE
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Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: January/24/2007 at 13:25
SPICE!!!!
------------- If at first you don't secede...try..try again.
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Posted By: Trinidad
Date Posted: January/24/2007 at 13:30
My favoriot characters are the space guild navagators that was sick when they made thier entrance
into the palace and spoke to the emperor.
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Posted By: tahqua
Date Posted: January/24/2007 at 13:33
"Uh-huh-huh-huh! Uh-huh-huh-huh! , That looks like a sick butt" - Beavis and Butt-Head
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Posted By: tahqua
Date Posted: January/25/2007 at 10:17
Thank goodness Q isn't a member of the OT Continuum
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Posted By: tahqua
Date Posted: January/25/2007 at 22:43
I used to be a big fan of Star Trek, from the original through SNG, DS9 and Voyager. When Q first introduced the crew to the Borg I thought they were the most sinister aliens ever. Then 7 of 9 changed all that..
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Posted By: Chris Farris
Date Posted: January/26/2007 at 22:42
SVD666 wrote:
I have never seen Star Trek .....
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Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: January/26/2007 at 23:18
SVD666 wrote:
I have never seen Star Trek but I am a big fan of this sci-fi movie DUNE
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What was with the giant worms and the floating fat guy?
------------- Ted
Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
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Posted By: Trinidad
Date Posted: January/27/2007 at 01:10
The baron harkonan is one nasty pervert,mercenary to the emperor and a sworn enemy to the atriaties.
The worms reperesented the majical force and stood as a mystical grand symbol of the spice milange.
The spice milange is the precious substance used to fold space............................
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Posted By: Trinidad
Date Posted: January/27/2007 at 01:11
Chris wrote:
SVD666 wrote:
I have never seen Star Trek .....
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I have never watched much TV Chris,mostly movies.
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Posted By: Trinidad
Date Posted: January/27/2007 at 01:17
tahqua wrote:
"Uh-huh-huh-huh! Uh-huh-huh-huh! , That looks like a sick butt" - Beavis and Butt-Head
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I love the Navigator Tahqua, cool pic.
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Posted By: tahqua
Date Posted: January/27/2007 at 05:58
"He who controls the spice, controls the universe."
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Posted By: scooter65
Date Posted: January/27/2007 at 21:56
Giddi UP 7 of 9
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Posted By: Stephanie
Date Posted: January/29/2007 at 08:36
I like Star Trek, seen a lot of the "Next Generation" with Jean-luc Picard
I just now seen Star Wars... I don't have a clue what part, but it was pretty good...
It was the one where Dart Vader losses his legs.
This is my Favorite character!!!! He's soooooo cute! This little guy can MOVE!
------------- "Always give people more than what they expect to get!"
Stephanie.Price@SWFA.com Customer Service/Sales
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