Here in Texas, leasing is the predominant method hunters who don't own or have free access to good hunting land use for gaining access to the better deer, bird, feral hog, etc. hunting land. Texas has less public hunting land compared to some other states and much of the public land that is available is lower quality than good private land. The "deer lease" is therefore a tradition in Texas. Usually, in addition to hunting, a deer lease gives the hunter year-round, exclusive use to the property for the members of the lease. So, for many of us, the deer lease becomes more than just a place to hunt, but a very sacred private get-away place to shoot guns, fish, camp, and just relax, enjoying the outdoors. It's a place to take the family for sitting around the campfire and cooking out. A place to hang out with buddies, play pranks, and teach your kids valuable lessons about the natural world and life in general. Some of my fondest memories and finest days occurred while I was at the deer lease.
One of the other side benefits of the deer lease for me has been in honing the fine art of "redneck engineering," for lack of better terms. Between building campsite amenities, general maintenance ("fixing stuff"), building blinds, prepping stand sites, planting food plots, clearing underbrush, etc., there's plenty of work that can be done literally year-round. Much of this work entails being creative with what you have on-hand, which I like to call "redneck engineering."
Enter the ATV. ATVs may be controversial on public lands, but on private land, it's an invaluable tool. For us, the ATV is the workhorse of choice, because it's not only handy for retrieving and hauling game back to camp, but it's perfect for hauling tools, construction materials, and supplies around the lease for various projects because it can go places other vehicles simply cannot. It enables you to carry tools and supplies through narrow trails and deep mud that would be impractical or even impossible to access with any other type of vehicle. As a result, we've learned very creative ways to stack and strap incredible amounts of "stuff" onto a small ATV. I wish I had photos of some of our more extreme gear hauling efforts, because trust me, they have been quite memorable! The visual of some of these loads were "laugh out loud" hilarious! I remember one occasion where we actually managed to stack about 1,500 lbs worth of "stuff" onto one single rider ATV! The tires were literally rubbing the fenders while driving.
Which brings me to the topic of this post. One day, as my hunting buddies and I were stacking materials needed to repair a permanent blind located a couple miles away from camp, I came up with what I thought was a fun idea, which I dubbed "The Redneck Challenge Race." I propose the rules of the Redneck Challenge shall be as follows:
* Contestants are each provided with the same model of ATV and a large pile of assorted identical "stuff," (to keep everything equal) preferably of very odd, cumbersome sizes and shapes (i.e. step ladders, chain saws, PVC pipe...) including bungees, ratchet-straps, rope, duct tape, etc.
* A course is provided which must include random obstacles and rough spots like mud holes, large bumps, rocks, inclines, ravines, downed tree trunks, tight trails, winding paths, etc., at least a couple miles in length, with a start and finish line.
* At the starting gunshot (which preferably kills a feral hawg, cuz in Texas, a hawg has got to die somewhere in the process!) each contestant begins to load, strap, and hang all of his pile of stuff on his ATV. There will be enough stuff provided so that it's nearly, but not quite impossible to carry all of it. Given the time constraints, this will obviously require creativity and clever planning.
* Once each contestant thinks his load is secure enough, they take off at breakneck speed along the designated course. However, in this race, driving faster will often not be the best strategy for maintaining the load.
* The winner is the one who crosses the finish line first with the most stuff still attached to their ATV.
* Prizes are given to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place finishers.
* The race concludes with a barbeque, chili cookoff, or other culinary event involving lots of wild game meat and beer.
All of the above is paid for by entry fees and donations from sponsors/advertisers.
Obviously, all contestants must first sign a legal waiver exempting the event sponsor from any liability in the event of injury or outbreak of a fist fight. However, anyone who is concerned about getting hurt or has "potential lawsuit" on their mind is a candyass worthy of an ass-whipping and is undeserving of the title "redneck" anyway.
Here is a recent pic of one of our gear hauling events. It is nowhere near our most ambitious; it just happens to be one I have pics of...
Heck, maybe I could convince Chris to sponsor such an event.
??????
On second thought, he's probably smart enough to avoid the potential liability, signed legal waivers or not.
Feel free to post pics of any of your "Redneck Challenge" examples. Surely I'm not alone in this regard.
So, what do you think? Got any ideas for making the Redneck Challenge more interesting? Would any of you participate in such an event if given the opportunity?
------------- Ted
Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
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