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Showdown in H-Town

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Topic: Showdown in H-Town
Posted By: Kickboxer
Subject: Showdown in H-Town
Date Posted: March/15/2009 at 21:30
Anyone make it to Houston for this?  I just found out about it yesterday.  Would love to have been there...

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Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living



Replies:
Posted By: silver
Date Posted: March/15/2009 at 22:27
?

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"If we weren't all crazy we, We would go insane."   Jimmie Buffet

WWW.formitch.com



Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: March/15/2009 at 22:30
Huge Chuck Norris sponsored martial arts tournament.   

-------------
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: Ed Connelly
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 07:00
 
 
 
                                                                                    Protest
 
 
                         


-------------
Be sure to visit,

http://www.opticstalk.com/forum_topics.asp?FID=50 - THE ED SHOW

Ju Cucarachas!!!


Posted By: Ed Connelly
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 07:15
                                                                         
 
                                                                                 Protest
 
   

 

                                                                                   Eek



-------------
Be sure to visit,

http://www.opticstalk.com/forum_topics.asp?FID=50 - THE ED SHOW

Ju Cucarachas!!!


Posted By: BillyWayne
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 09:23
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
 
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.


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John 11:35
The're taking the hobbits to Isengard!!


Posted By: pyro6999
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 09:25
chuck norris had a birthday  the other day i believe.

-------------
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"


Posted By: Chris Farris
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 11:37
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.


-------------
SWFA, Inc.
http://SWFA.com - SWFA.com
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http://www.mil-dot.com - Mil-Dot.com
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Posted By: pyro6999
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 11:40
Laugh Above


-------------
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"


Posted By: BillyWayne
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 12:11
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

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John 11:35
The're taking the hobbits to Isengard!!


Posted By: Ed Connelly
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 12:14
 
 
                                       Excellent         Roll on Floor Laughing         


-------------
Be sure to visit,

http://www.opticstalk.com/forum_topics.asp?FID=50 - THE ED SHOW

Ju Cucarachas!!!


Posted By: Chris Farris
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 12:47
Chuck Norris can divide by 0 and count to infinity.

-------------
SWFA, Inc.
http://SWFA.com - SWFA.com
http://www.swfa-ss.com - SWFA-SS.com
http://www.mil-dot.com - Mil-Dot.com
http://www.samplelist.com - SampleList.com


Posted By: BillyWayne
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 12:49
http://19781.spreadshirt.com/us/US/Shop/?&product_id=2901480 - Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

-------------
John 11:35
The're taking the hobbits to Isengard!!


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:05
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas...

-------------
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: pyro6999
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:16
im waiting for the us govt to unleash the ultimate weapon of mass destruction on Afghanistan, but they wont send chuck norris in until all the troops are home.

-------------
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:16
The "Big Bang" really happened when Chuck Norris lit a fart.

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:16
The first Neanderthal was really Chuck Norris when he hadn't shaved in a month.

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:17
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:18
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: pyro6999
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:19
chuck norris counted to infinity twice
chuck norris doesnt believe in or go hunting because the term implies that failure is possible. chuck norris goes killing
chuck norris can eat just one lays potato chip


-------------
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:22
Chuck Norris is suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his right and left legs, respectively.

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: pyro6999
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:24
chuck norris uses ribbed condoms inside out so he gets the pleasure

-------------
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"


Posted By: Ed Connelly
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:27
 
 
 
                                                                                 Roll on Floor Laughing


-------------
Be sure to visit,

http://www.opticstalk.com/forum_topics.asp?FID=50 - THE ED SHOW

Ju Cucarachas!!!


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:27
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He round house kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:28
Chuck Norris doesn't teabag people, he potato sacks them.

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:29
When you search Chuck Norris on Google and spell his name wrong, it doesn't say "did you mean Chuck Norris", it says "run while you have the chance".

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: pyro6999
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:29
comedy central wanted to do a roast of chuck norris, but their wasnt anything funny to say about him

-------------
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:29
Q:  Why doesn't Chuck Norris have pubes?

A: Hair doesn't grow on steel, so instead steel wool grows there.


-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: pyro6999
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:31
jesus may have walked on water, but only chuck norris can swim on dry land

-------------
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:33
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris once visited the "Virgin Islands." They are now simply called "The Islands."

When Chuck Norris falls in the water, he doesn't get 'wet'... the water gets 'Chuck Norris'.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter. 

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:38
The movie 300 was actually a remake of the movie starring Chuck Norris. It was called 1. And it had a different ending.

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: supertool73
Date Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:38
On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000

-------------
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."


Posted By: SD Dog
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 15:14
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.


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If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.


Posted By: SD Dog
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 15:19
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.

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If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.


Posted By: Ed Connelly
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 17:51
 
 
 
                                                                                              Eek


-------------
Be sure to visit,

http://www.opticstalk.com/forum_topics.asp?FID=50 - THE ED SHOW

Ju Cucarachas!!!


Posted By: mike650
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:15
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ - http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

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“A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be.” – Fred Bear


Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:34
If Chuck Norris is running late, then time better slow the f*** down!

-------------
Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:43
Chuck Norris wears Chuck Norris pajamas...

-------------
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:49
 Chuck Norris didn't go to Houston.
 Houston came to him when he called it!


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:53
Originally posted by RONK RONK wrote:

 Chuck Norris didn't go to Houston.
 Houston came to him when he called it!

#1, so far...


-------------
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:54
 Thank you!


Posted By: Brady
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:56


Posted By: rifle looney
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 19:01
Fu.........Chuck.........................OOOPs        Shocked

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Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 19:03
Originally posted by rifle looney rifle looney wrote:

Fu.........Chuck.........................OOOPs        Shocked
 
 
 DEAD MAN COMING THROUGH!!!


Posted By: Chuck Norris
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 19:20
Originally posted by rifle looney rifle looney wrote:

Fu.........Chuck.........................OOOPs        Shocked
 
You won't wake up tomorrow morning... FYI
 
 


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I didn't even need to register to make my account


Posted By: mike650
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 19:23
Roll on Floor Laughing


-------------
“A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be.” – Fred Bear


Posted By: rifle looney
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 19:25
OH! crap I woke up the Texas Ranger.      hey Chuck!

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Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 19:28
Bow


Posted By: SD Dog
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 19:40
I thought Chuck Norris would have 5 stars to start with.

-------------
If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.


Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 19:56
Originally posted by SD Dog SD Dog wrote:

I thought Chuck Norris would have 5 stars to start with.
 
 Look closer.
 He does have five stars, but they dimmed themselves down out of respect for him!
 


Posted By: Chuck Norris
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 20:02
Originally posted by RONK RONK wrote:

Originally posted by SD Dog SD Dog wrote:

I thought Chuck Norris would have 5 stars to start with.
 
 Look closer.
 He does have five stars, but they dimmed themselves down out of respect for him!
 
 
1576 post count... pfffh... I remember those days


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I didn't even need to register to make my account


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 20:09
Originally posted by Chuck Norris Chuck Norris wrote:

Originally posted by RONK RONK wrote:

Originally posted by SD Dog SD Dog wrote:

I thought Chuck Norris would have 5 stars to start with.
 
 Look closer.
 He does have five stars, but they dimmed themselves down out of respect for him!
 
 
1576 post count... pfffh... I remember those days
Kneel Suckers
We're not worthy....


-------------
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 20:09
 Optics Retard?


Posted By: lucytuma
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 20:13

10000 posts, its the new ranking name originally given to Pyro at his 10000th post. 



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"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." - Thomas Jefferson


Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 20:16
Originally posted by lucytuma lucytuma wrote:

10000 posts, its the new ranking name originally given to Pyro at his 10000th post. 

 I kind of thought so.
  I'm just amazed that any of us are still alive after having seen that title below Chuck Norris's name!


Posted By: Steelbenz
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 20:30
Hey don't bring me into this!!!  Y'all are the ones to bring down the wrath of Chuck!!! 

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"Don't argue with a fool! From a distance you can't really tell who's who!"


Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 20:43
Originally posted by Steelbenz Steelbenz wrote:

Hey don't bring me into this!!!  Y'all are the ones to bring down the wrath of Chuck!!! 
 
 We didn't bring you into this, you sealed your own fate by reading this thread.
 
 I just hope that he kills us quickly, if only out of mercy...


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 20:45
What if he already has and changed his mind and brought us back?????

-------------
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 20:53
 Chuck Norris doesn't change his mind. He alters reality as he sees fit!


Posted By: helo18
Date Posted: March/17/2009 at 23:03
I am just curious how he got assigned a post count when Chuck Norris invented the count and the post.

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To be prepared for War is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.

GEORGE WASHINGTON


Posted By: SD Dog
Date Posted: March/18/2009 at 09:57
Originally posted by Kickboxer Kickboxer wrote:

What if he already has and changed his mind and brought us back?????


Did feel funny yesterday.  Must have been when he roundhouse kicked us all.  Feel much better now that he roundhouse kicked us back to the living.


-------------
If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.


Posted By: SD Dog
Date Posted: March/18/2009 at 09:59
Originally posted by helo18 helo18 wrote:

I am just curious how he got assigned a post count when Chuck Norris invented the count and the post.


Chuck has posted to infinity already, twice.


-------------
If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.


Posted By: rkingston
Date Posted: March/19/2009 at 06:42
Chuck Norris kicked the crap out of the Dos Equis guy and took his girlfriends.


Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/19/2009 at 16:43

Chuck has posted to infinity already, twice.
[/QUOTE]
 
 Pffft.
 
 Big Deal.
 
 Pyro's done that three times...


Posted By: RifleDude
Date Posted: March/19/2009 at 18:35
Behold... Chuck Norris is no longer an "Optics Retard..." 

-------------
Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.


Posted By: RONK
Date Posted: March/19/2009 at 19:20
 
I'm really enjoying this thread, despite, (or perhaps because of), it's absolute silliness!
  


Posted By: SD Dog
Date Posted: March/19/2009 at 19:34
True Pyro has done that, but what Chuck Norris said, you believe.


-------------
If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.


Posted By: SD Dog
Date Posted: March/19/2009 at 19:34
Unless of course you want him to come through your computer monitor and roundhouse kick you.

-------------
If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.


Posted By: pyro6999
Date Posted: March/20/2009 at 13:04
Originally posted by SD Dog SD Dog wrote:

Unless of course you want him to come through your computer monitor and roundhouse kick you.

i wouldnt roundhouse kick anybody, but an ear flick wouldnt be out of the question!! my martial arts training has been on vacation for many years, the instincts may still be there, but that doesnt me my body is!Laugh


-------------
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"


Posted By: mike650
Date Posted: March/20/2009 at 21:25



-------------
“A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be.” – Fred Bear


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: March/20/2009 at 21:54
Fact( not a "Chuck Norris-ism"):  Chuck Norris was the FIRST competitor in U.S. martial arts competition to use a spinning back kick... he dominated for two years until the rest of the community began to catch up with execution.  

-------------
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: mike650
Date Posted: March/20/2009 at 23:26
Cool!!! Thunbs Up

Most likely learned from his Tang Soo Do training days while in Korea; martial arts in USA was still in it's infancy back then with Ed Parker as one of the main players.






-------------
“A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be.” – Fred Bear



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