Print Page | Close Window

Government handouts

Printed From: OpticsTalk by SWFA, Inc.
Category: Everything Else
Forum Name: Almost Anything Goes
Forum Description: Non OpticsTalk Talk
URL: http://www.opticstalk.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=12359
Printed Date: March/28/2024 at 15:13
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.01 - http://www.webwizforums.com


Topic: Government handouts
Posted By: 3_tens
Subject: Government handouts
Date Posted: August/13/2008 at 21:30

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull, gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

'Well, cowboy,' says the genie... 'You know how I work. You have three wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this,' said t he cowboy. 'I'm not going to trust an IRS genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'

The cow boy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.

'OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. He is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'

***POOF***

He turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached



-------------
Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.



Replies:
Posted By: Dogger
Date Posted: August/14/2008 at 07:17
Always, always, strings attached!

-------------
God save the Empire!


Posted By: Steelbenz
Date Posted: August/14/2008 at 12:06
EEEEEUUWWWWWW!!!!

-------------
"Don't argue with a fool! From a distance you can't really tell who's who!"


Posted By: bugsNbows
Date Posted: August/14/2008 at 15:11
Yikes. Gross but funny at the same time.

-------------
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous


Posted By: BeltFed
Date Posted: August/14/2008 at 15:42
Laugh%20AboveRoll%20on%20Floor%20Laughing

-------------
Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.


Posted By: cheaptrick
Date Posted: August/14/2008 at 16:28

I didn't see that one coming!! Excellent

Good one!


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: August/19/2008 at 23:26
Nor did I want to...

-------------
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: mercenary1947
Date Posted: August/20/2008 at 10:25
 That is funny !!!!!!  Good one !

-------------
One Shot One Kill .... *S.O.F * Head Shots Only
               SWFAM


Posted By: Ed Connelly
Date Posted: August/20/2008 at 10:48
" Oh....excuser me...I thought this said government ' hangout'.....sorry...."
 
 


Posted By: cyborg
Date Posted: August/20/2008 at 12:00
That is ......Well it's funny, yet so disturbing.... The whole string thing just has me all in the red.

-------------
With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other

An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects.

OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause.

Cyborg


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: August/20/2008 at 12:28
Kind of like Teddy's face?????

-------------
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living



Print Page | Close Window

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.01 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Copyright ©2001-2018 Web Wiz Ltd. - https://www.webwiz.net