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UPS airlines (funny)

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Topic: UPS airlines (funny)
Posted By: Chris Farris
Subject: UPS airlines (funny)
Date Posted: July/25/2008 at 14:47

UPS Airlines

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only  a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form,  called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the  aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the  form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next  flight.
 
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of  humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS   pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S)by maintenance engineers.
 
By the way, UPS is the only major airline  that has never, ever, had an accident.
 
 
P: Left inside  main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main  tire.
 
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S:  Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
 
P: Something loose in  cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
 
P: Dead bugs on  windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
 
P: Autopilot in  altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot  reproduce problem on ground.
 
P: Evidence of leak on right main  landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
 
P: DME volume unbelievably  loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.




Replies:
Posted By: Bigdaddy0381
Date Posted: July/25/2008 at 14:51
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.  Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer  away from midget
 
 
Thats a good one there. Had me in tears


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P&Z Firearms , Pro gun cleanings and gun repair and wood refinishing.

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Posted By: BeltFed
Date Posted: July/25/2008 at 15:10
I've got a friend who used to be a A&P mechanic, and they had a similar form. One of their pilots had a problem with the auto-pilot, and noted it on the form. When he got the sheet back the replie was E.S.T.O.. The piot asked my friend what E.S.T.O. meant. My friend looked at the pilot and said "equipment smarter than operator".
 
I work at the airport that the UPS hub is located at, and I have met many UPS pilots (aka flying truck drivers), and I believe Chris.


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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.


Posted By: Dale Clifford
Date Posted: July/25/2008 at 18:47
whats even funnier is that a great deal of traffic of UPS and USPS is carried by FEDex jets.


Posted By: cyborg
Date Posted: July/25/2008 at 19:14
Some of the answers that the ground support crew are giving, LOL They make me proud. 

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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other

An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects.

OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause.

Cyborg


Posted By: Kickboxer
Date Posted: July/25/2008 at 19:16
Hmmm... Odd that UPS would have a "target radar" and an IFF (Identification Friend or Foe).

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Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living


Posted By: Urimaginaryfrnd
Date Posted: July/25/2008 at 19:48
I first heard this as an Air Force joke which makes more sense with targeting radar and IFF.

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"Always do the right thing, just because it is the right thing to do".
Bobby Paul Doherty
Texas Ranger


Posted By: BeltFed
Date Posted: July/25/2008 at 20:11
Most the UPS pilots are ex-military so it still works. They are a good bunch of guys, but they are still pilots.

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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.


Posted By: silver
Date Posted: July/25/2008 at 21:06
 
Stick actuator is the preferd term, rather than pilot...


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"If we weren't all crazy we, We would go insane."   Jimmie Buffet

WWW.formitch.com



Posted By: mercenary1947
Date Posted: July/26/2008 at 10:30
 That is hilarious ! Having built those birds for years and did  structural repairs ... they hit home . I miss those guys in the plant and some of the crazy stuff that was done and said ...
you can't imagine ... can't count how many times men and women were caught in areas in the planes ... goin at it !  DON'T EVER LET YOUR WIFE work at an aircraft  factory !  Mouth%20Taped%20Shut


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One Shot One Kill .... *S.O.F * Head Shots Only
               SWFAM


Posted By: martin3175
Date Posted: July/26/2008 at 13:30

can you say midget anymore ?? politically correct or is it "height handicapped?"



Posted By: cyborg
Date Posted: July/26/2008 at 17:37
I believe they prefer the term VERTICALLY CHALLENGED

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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other

An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects.

OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause.

Cyborg



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