New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Ponderisms
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

Check GunBroker.com for SWFA's No Reserve and No Minimum bid firearm auctions.

Ponderisms

 Post Reply Post Reply   Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/16/2011 at 13:07
3_tens View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Knight
Optics Jedi Knight
Avatar

Joined: January/08/2007
Location: Oklahoma
Status: Offline
Points: 7182
Ponderisms-Hmmmmmmm……

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards : NAIVE
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 
(My sentiments exactly!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


3.  OK ..... so if the  Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the  Tampa   Bay  Buccaneers are known  as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the  Tennessee  Titans?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

4.  If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

5.  There are three religious truths:
     a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
     b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
     c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 
 
6.   If people from  Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland  called Holes? 


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

7.  If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*

8.   Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

9  Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist? 

* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

11.   If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it  follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,  models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

*~*~*~*~*~*! ~*~*~*~*

12.  If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

13.   Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

14.   What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of  bald men?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

15.   I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?  Toothpicks?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

17.   Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~*~ *~*

18.  If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


19.   You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

21.   Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

22.   If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

23.   Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells   ... 'THEIRS'? 

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/16/2011 at 16:36
tman1965 View Drop Down
Optics Master
Optics Master
Avatar

Joined: July/20/2010
Location: South Georgia
Status: Offline
Points: 1456
ROFLMAO!!ExcellentExcellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/16/2011 at 18:17
stickbow46 View Drop Down
Optics Master Extraordinaire
Optics Master Extraordinaire
Avatar

Joined: January/07/2009
Location: Benton, Pa
Status: Offline
Points: 4673
Roll on Floor LaughingExcellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/16/2011 at 21:32
helo18 View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Knight
Optics Jedi Knight
Avatar

Joined: December/02/2006
Location: Montana
Status: Offline
Points: 5432
Excellent
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Similar Threads: "Ponderisms"
Subject Author Forum Replies Last Post
There are no similar posts.


This page was generated in 0.268 seconds.