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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/15/2011 at 12:35
3_tens View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Knight
Optics Jedi Knight
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Joined: January/08/2007
Location: Oklahoma
Status: Offline
Points: 7298
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination
to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk
who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a
good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was
broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I
found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the
balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this
point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and
died."
 
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
 
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.

He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He
apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as
the fellow in here just before you."

"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding'
in this cedar chest....."
Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/15/2011 at 18:39
helo18 View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Knight
Optics Jedi Knight
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Joined: December/02/2006
Location: Montana
Status: Offline
Points: 5511
That is great!!
To be prepared for War is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.

GEORGE WASHINGTON
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/16/2011 at 05:36
bugsNbows View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Master
Optics Jedi Master
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bowsNbugs

Joined: March/10/2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 9487
LOL   Excellent
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/16/2011 at 06:17
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Optics Master Extraordinaire
Optics Master Extraordinaire
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Joined: November/13/2008
Location: Montana
Status: Offline
Points: 4733
+1
Reaction time is a factor...
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/16/2011 at 06:43
Kickboxer View Drop Down
MODERATOR
MODERATOR
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Moderator

Joined: February/13/2008
Status: Offline
Points: 18795
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe-Eosmk6oE
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/16/2011 at 07:05
SVT_Tactical View Drop Down
Optics Retard
Optics Retard
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Chief Sackscratch

Joined: December/17/2009
Location: NorthCackalacky
Status: Offline
Points: 28966
Big Grin
 
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