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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/15/2011 at 12:35
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Optics Jedi Knight
Optics Jedi Knight
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Joined: January/08/2007
Location: Oklahoma
Status: Offline
Points: 7180
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination
to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk
who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a
good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was
broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I
found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the
balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this
point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and
died."
 
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
 
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.

He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He
apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as
the fellow in here just before you."

"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding'
in this cedar chest....."
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/15/2011 at 18:39
helo18 View Drop Down
Optics Jedi Knight
Optics Jedi Knight
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Joined: December/02/2006
Location: Montana
Status: Offline
Points: 5429
That is great!!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/16/2011 at 05:36
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Optics Jedi Master
Optics Jedi Master
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bowsNbugs

Joined: March/10/2008
Location: Florida
Status: Offline
Points: 9286
LOL   Excellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/16/2011 at 06:17
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Optics Master Extraordinaire
Optics Master Extraordinaire
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Joined: November/13/2008
Location: Montana
Status: Offline
Points: 4613
+1
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/16/2011 at 06:43
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MODERATOR
MODERATOR
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Moderator

Joined: February/13/2008
Status: Offline
Points: 18337
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/16/2011 at 07:05
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Optics Retard
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Chief Sackscratch

Joined: December/17/2009
Location: NorthCackalacky
Status: Offline
Points: 28753
Big Grin
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