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'HOW THE FIGHT STARTED!'

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/24/2008 at 16:39
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Big Grin
'HOW THE FIGHT STARTED!' 

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started....
************************************************
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for 
$14.95.  Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream....... And that's how the fight started.
 ************************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.  The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. 
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.  When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.  She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'......  And that's how the fight started.....
***********************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.  My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'  'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'   
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'...... And that's how the fight started.....
*************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.  You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? 
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!  He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'  So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'....... And that's how the fight started.....
**************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.  'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'  He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow ?'  'Nah, she can order for herself.'...... And that's how the fight started.....

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/24/2008 at 16:47
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Laugh Above
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/24/2008 at 19:07
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Passed it on.    Yippee
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/24/2008 at 20:44
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                                              Thunbs Up                              ( "...might have gotten disability, too"...)   Roll on Floor Laughing
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/25/2008 at 04:27
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Have You Driven A Ford Lately?

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Roll on Floor Laughing
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/25/2008 at 07:17
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This will be used in so many ways!
 
Good stuff 3_Tens!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/25/2008 at 17:20
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Dogger, "or used against you"Grenade
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/25/2008 at 17:23
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WONDERFUL...
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/25/2008 at 20:14
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The Dwarf one is the best Big Grin
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/24/2009 at 21:53
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Add some to the thread

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' 
 I said, "Dust." 
 And then the fight started.... 
  
 I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for  some reason, took my order first. 
 "I'll have  the strip steak, medium rare,   please." 
 He said, "Aren't you worried  about the  mad cow?"" 
 Nah, she can order  for herself." 
 And then the fight  started... 

 A man and a woman were  asleep like two innocent   babies.
 Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the  morning, a  loud noise came from  outside.
 The woman, bewildered, jumped  up from the bed and yelled at the man  'Holy crap. That must be my  husband!' 
 So the man  jumped out of the  bed; scared and naked, jumped out the  window. He smashed himself on the  ground, ran through a  thorn bush and to his car as     fast as he could  go.
 A few minutes later he returned and went  up to  the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your  !?!?@## husband!'
 The woman yelled back, 'Yeah,  then why  were you running?'
And then  the fight  started..... 
 
 Saturday morning I got up early, quietly   dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped  quietly into  the garage.
 I hooked up the boat up  to  the truck, and proceeded to back out into a  torrential  downpour.
 The wind was blowing 50  mph,  so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the  radio, and discovered  that the weather would be bad all   day.
 I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into  bed.
 I cuddled  up to my wife's back,  now with a different anticipation,  and whispered, 'The weather out there  is terrible.'
 My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in  that?' 
 And then the fight started... 

 My wife and I are watching who wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
 "No," she   answered.
 I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
 She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
 So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." 
 And that's when the fight   started.... 

 

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/24/2009 at 22:25
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Good stuff 3_tens never heard those beforeExcellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/24/2009 at 22:54
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Optics Jedi Knight
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Thanks for bringing this one back, its funny as hell!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/25/2009 at 09:41
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LOL, those are too funny. 
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