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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/27/2009 at 07:11
8shots View Drop Down
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Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? This is a question that’s been at the forefront of discussion amongst the most prestigious scholars and lawmakers of the world. Finally, after getting them all together – the question has been answered.

A: Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement. Whereas the party of the first part, also known as ‘the lawyers’ and the party of the second part, also known as ‘the light bulb’ do hereby agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (North) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just through the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

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1. The party of the first part shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party of the second part in a counter clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part shall be undertaken by the party of the first part to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part, notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part to perform the customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as the non-negotiable directional codicil is observed by the party of the first part throughout.

2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part becomes seperated from the party of the third part, also known as the ‘receptacle’, the party of the first part shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local, and federal statutes.

3. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part shall have the option of beginning the installation of the party of the fourth part, also known as ‘new light bulb’. This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse procedures described in step one of this self same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable and only until the party of the fourth part becomes snug in the party of the third part and in fact becomes the party of the second part

Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part, by said party of the first part, or by his or her heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him or her to do sum the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (North) door consistent with maximisation of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as ‘The Firm’.



Edited by 8shots - August/27/2009 at 07:11
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/27/2009 at 07:17
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WoW,8 You typed that? Would have promptly driven me insane! But funny none the less.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/27/2009 at 08:11
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show me your sheep!!

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I think that its safe to say that is a copy & paste job!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/27/2009 at 08:20
8shots View Drop Down
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Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

I think that its safe to say that is a copy & paste job!
 
 
You know your customers!Thunbs Up
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/27/2009 at 09:25
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That was GREAT, one problem I don't think even a lawyer could change a light bulb....
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/27/2009 at 12:08
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Originally posted by medic52 medic52 wrote:

That was GREAT, one problem I don't think even a lawyer could change a light bulb....
See: Note after paragraph 3 of said agreement pertaining to the contractual agreement reguarding Lightbulb changing.
As stated in the Note section of said agreement, after paragraph 3, the Lawyer there in refered to as the party of the first part, may designate another party to perform said contractual agreement inaccordance with the procedures set forth in paragraphs 1, 2, and 3.
Therefore and forthwith the party of the first part may at his discrestion, remove the party ofthe second part from the party of the third part, and replace the party of the second part with the party of the fourth part to fill the position held with the party of the third part, hereby known as the party of the second part. This contractual agreement may be performed by the party of the first part or their designee.
 
Does this clear up your question?
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/27/2009 at 13:10
Urimaginaryfrnd View Drop Down
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I was just thinking it takes all the lawyers in the world to screw in a light bulb - one holds the bulb still, the rest screw the whole world.

Edited by Urimaginaryfrnd - August/27/2009 at 13:10
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/28/2009 at 08:16
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show me your sheep!!

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I think Wes can be declared the complete and ultimate winner of this one!!!   Excellent
 
Lawyers wouldn't want it any other way!  Whacko
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