No, it wasn't because someone else I kept in contact with has shown up early unexpected. (some will understand this)
No, it wasn't because I got more bad news about the house. Update here. http://www.opticstalk.com/in-a-pinch-bad-news-need-advice-and-input_topic30887.html
No, it wasn't because I got more bad reports or health news about our childs most recent biopsies.
No, it wasn't because I am a softy or a really emotional person.
It was because today, of all days, I here the door bell ring, no it wasn't someone just dropping in that got back for a surprise visit, it was the mailman.
I signed for a package coming from an APO full of Power Team Elite or World PeaceKeapers Toys for our Twin Boys, a sample of them I pulled from http://www.google.com/search?q=power+team+elite&hl=en&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=DDHtToOXA83kggfv8vX1CA&sqi=2&ved=0CHEQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=673 by the way these are just the cats meow for little boys (who can respect why and when).
and then got another little box sent by a certain someone.
honestly I didn't recognize B.F. and the GA
IT WAS BECAUSE OF THIS BOX THAT I AM STILL A LITTLE CHOKED UP.
You, SOG's. YOU MADE MEN, You Mafioso, You Cosa Nostra.
you know who you are
I cannot tell you what a fool I feel like right now, I first off have been beside myself telling my wife and arguing I just need to sell some stuff (the unecessary firearms and other toys I have bought with bonus money and E-4/SPC ADP, that were immature buys and not at all having to do with a family or any needs by any means) so to speak and we should be ok, I will put it on a CC and we will be fine. Worrying the whole time about how in the world am I going to get through this, I have spent like a fool in my life at times and now I am nickleing and diming it due to our house situation, which I am flat out ashamed of.
Some of you will not understand when I say this but others will and while I do not feel I have to say it I am going to.
This ain't going to come out right but here I go.
I don't deserve your GIFT.
I want to send it back so bad it just makes me sick to know that while I am in a pickle I have more in the back of my closet (clothes and shoes) than some people have to their name. We live in a more than adequate house and we have great jobs (even if I did get a large pay cut I still have a job), while our situation is just bend over and take it right now, we in all respects have been blessed (here you go for all you non-belivers out their) beyond our wildest measures we have felt the Lords hand in everything weither we deserved it or not.
I am getting torn up inside thinking and having so many come to mind it is making my stomach sick.
Just flat out torn up and shaking my head...
I have never been one to talk up or talk out in a crowd, hell even my posting here is besides my character I am a shadow I try not to be noticed I try not to stick out I am a very quiet and reserved person, I am able to have a differing persona on here but sure as the wind blows I am found.
I have not tried to hide but have not tried to have been made known.
I quite honestly still am wondering how exactly all has been put together but I also realize that some of you all have the DOD at your fingertips, which again kind of suprises me due to the certain nature of things. Who Knows.
I am not running any CI on this situation.
I am going to just as my wife has already told me be accepting and not ashamed. "They did it for a reason"...
You all know that we have many yet that are not coming home and are losing support daily because of our current politics. To this my plea is simple support anyone you know who is active or inactive that has served in any capacity, I know you do and I know you will, I am fed up with our current politics. All this "change" we have left is just for the birds.
NOT to rant and rave I am just beside myself...
Edited by 338LAPUASLAP - December/17/2011 at 18:37