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Hell - A Logical Explanation

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 14:02
Chris Farris View Drop Down
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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.  The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared  it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now  have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : 
                                                                         
    Bonus Question:

    Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?                           
                                                                               
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law  gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some  variant.  One student, however, wrote the following:               
                                                                               
    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we  need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. 

                                                                              
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added. 
                                                                               
    This gives two possibilities:                     
                                         
        1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.                     
                                                                               
        2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes  over
                                                                               
    So which is it?                                                                     
         
 If we accept the postulate given t o me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'                   

                                                                               
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+ 

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 14:07
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With logic like that. I would have given him a pass on the entire semester.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 14:10
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The above theorem ( from the movie) explains why Thomas Jefferson's corpse is referred to as " Whirling Tom". 
 
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 16:58
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saw this one on the 4th law of thermodynamics in a graduate physics class
4th law: all women get bigger
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 19:49
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Here's a good exam question...

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/20/2008 at 22:34
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I believe that answer IS AGAINST THE LAW!!   Bucky
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/21/2008 at 07:09
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Originally posted by Ed Connelly Ed Connelly wrote:

I believe that answer IS AGAINST THE LAW!!   Bucky
 
just in Dc and maryland and your house MS EDIndiana%20Jones
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/21/2008 at 07:43
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" Ya know.....y'know................there is...........th....there is a limit to how much nonsense a man stand in this world.  I mean, why do we have to...... be plagued with these people who just make your life miserable as hell?   Ah.....are...aren't we allowed to do something about it? I mean.......can't we just, like, drown these people or something? "
 
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/21/2008 at 07:45
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Here Ed, have a sip of Laudinum. If nothing else you'll feel better.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/21/2008 at 07:48
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Ed-- who are these people???
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/21/2008 at 08:12
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Originally posted by Dale Clifford Dale Clifford wrote:

Ed-- who are these people???
 
 
I'm thinking MR.EDBandito was refered to me.Howdy
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/21/2008 at 09:21
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" 'What people?'   'What people?' ......heh.....heh.......hee hee................THEM!!  They're out there!!!  I can hear them in my head....Bigdaddy....................CYBORG!!!.............DOGGER........Oh GOD!!!  I can't stand it...........( I've got to get out of here............) " 
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/21/2008 at 13:18
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/21/2008 at 13:25
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The song that play's in Ed head.
 
 
 
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/22/2008 at 07:47
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(  well, THAT song will kill this thread----it's like the Berlin Wall.....it's finished)

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/22/2008 at 07:57
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That song is downright scary - got me looking over my shoulder.
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