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cyborg
Optics God Gaseous Clay Joined: August/24/2007 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 12288 |
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Posted: October/04/2007 at 08:32 |
It can get a little heated here sometimes, and let's face it we all need a laugh sometime or another. if you find something funny post it here. I found this story particularly hilarious.
Originally posted by Mike Mcdonald
I've been fortunate enough to live in different parts of the country during my life and have always enjoyed the discovery of flora and fauna native to the area..
While living on the Oregon coastI learned that 200 people anually fall from their bicycles....................and drown.
In Montana I learned that the woods are full of things that can eat your horse, or stomp your person into a mud puddle.
When I moved to Texas the wife and I discovered a vorascious little throwback called the Armadillo. Cute, dumb as a rock, and have a strange attraction to the wife's flower garden The edict came down from She Who Must Be OBEYED that all armadillo's on the McDonald farm must be hunted down and terminated with all available resources.
So I'm liking that part already.
MIdlle of the night, the spousal unit hears a noise. She hears everything. I sleep like dead people and as such get the snot beat out of me while she's trying to wake me to perform my appointed duties as night assassin. We can't find the day guys phone number. Out of bed, pant,s slippers, flashlight, self loading hand held 22 caliber hole puncher and out the door we go on our mission to confront evil and destroy it.
Harmless litte thing, kinda waddles around like I do at night munching on things like, well, like I do at night. Despite the similarities this creature has to go.........now! I sneak up on the dastardly villian and straddle it, taking aim with my non suppressed Ruger 22 pistol. He's standing right between my legs and has no concern whatsoever. I shot the little thing right between the ears, top down.
Things I know about Armadillos, let me enumerate for you;
1. They have a brain the size of a pea. 2. When shot, and not hit in the brain, they go into a defensive manuver.
That manuver is the vertical leap, propelling 20 some odd pounds of armor wrapped flesh into vertical flight, the appogee of which is 48 inches.
I have a 30 inch inseam. Got the visual on that??
Meanwhile, inside the house, the wife has; 1. Heard the gunshot 2. Heard me moan loudly and fall to the ground. (I don't remember this part clearly. My brain had company, two little guys from down south.) 3. Looked outside after hearing all this and saw me laying on the ground clutching my midsection. 4. Dialed 911 with a shots fired/unknown intruder, husband injured on the ground.
Every cop and first responder in the county shows up. Not knowing what else to do, my charming wife makes coffee for everyone so we can all sit down and talk about it.
All armadillos on the McDonald farm are shotgunned from this point forward. |
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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other
An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects. OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause. Cyborg |
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cyborg
Optics God Gaseous Clay Joined: August/24/2007 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 12288 |
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This was posted by Bigdaddy
Bad start to a morning..
.... On the way to the office this morning, I rear-ended a car. Somehow I knew it was going to be a bad day. The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf, poor bastard. He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said "I am not happy" I said, "Well, which one are you then?" That's how the fight started... |
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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other
An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects. OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause. Cyborg |
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Bigdaddy0381
MODERATOR Georgia peach Joined: February/27/2007 Location: Georgia Status: Offline Points: 13682 |
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I have read this a few times and it still brings a smile to my face. But this time I read it something just stood out and poof there it was. I got all tickled and laughing so hard I was crying but anyway got to thinking when Mike Mcdonald gets older can we can his place the old Mcdonald farm E I E I O. on this farm he had an armadillo. You know the rest so stop singing it to your self
Sorry mike i just couldn't let that pass.I catch crap for my last name also.... |
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P&Z Firearms , Pro gun cleanings and gun repair and wood refinishing.
Ecclesiastes 10:2 |
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cyborg
Optics God Gaseous Clay Joined: August/24/2007 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 12288 |
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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other
An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects. OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause. Cyborg |
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cyborg
Optics God Gaseous Clay Joined: August/24/2007 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 12288 |
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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH: |
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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other
An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects. OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause. Cyborg |
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cyborg
Optics God Gaseous Clay Joined: August/24/2007 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 12288 |
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SO WHO IS DOING THE WORK?
160 million are retired. |
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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other
An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects. OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause. Cyborg |
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helo18
Optics Jedi Knight Joined: December/02/2006 Location: Montana Status: Offline Points: 5620 |
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Good one cyborg, although I am not sure where I fall in your deal. I'm not sure flying or guiding counts as work, more as getting paid to play with big powerful toys.
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To be prepared for War is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.
GEORGE WASHINGTON |
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cyborg
Optics God Gaseous Clay Joined: August/24/2007 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 12288 |
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My crazy a$$ GF sent those to me, I thought I'd share.
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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other
An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects. OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause. Cyborg |
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cyborg
Optics God Gaseous Clay Joined: August/24/2007 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 12288 |
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TRICK OR TREAT A little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on the door of
Oh my! And just who are you supposed to be now?" he asks. |
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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other
An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects. OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause. Cyborg |
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cyborg
Optics God Gaseous Clay Joined: August/24/2007 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 12288 |
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Courtesy of Bigdaddy One foggy night a Female Georgia fan was heading south and a Florida fan |
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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other
An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects. OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause. Cyborg |
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