New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - FUNNY CHURCH BULLETIN TYPOS
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

Check GunBroker.com for SWFA's No Reserve and No Minimum bid firearm auctions.

FUNNY CHURCH BULLETIN TYPOS

 Post Reply Post Reply   Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/05/2009 at 08:59
Bigdaddy0381 View Drop Down
Optics God
Optics God
Avatar
Georgia peach

Joined: February/27/2007
Location: Georgia
Status: Offline
Points: 12825

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church

 ladies with typewriters.These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS)  actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church  services:

 --------------------------

 The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

 --------------------------

 The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'

The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

> --------------------------

 Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

> --------------------------

 Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

> --------------------------

 Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

> --------------------------

 Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

> --------------------------

 For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

> --------------------------

 Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They  need all the help they can get.

> --------------------------

 Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

> --------------------------

 A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

> ---------------------

 At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

> --------------------------

 Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

> --------------------------

 Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items  to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

> --------------------------

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

> --------------------------

 The church will host an evening of fine dining,super entertainment and gracious hostility.

> --------------------------

 Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

> --------------------------

 The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

> --------------------------

 This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

 

> --------------------------

 Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM  All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

> --------------------------

 The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

> --------------------------

 Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

> --------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet  in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

> --------------------------

 Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

> --------------------------

 The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/05/2009 at 09:15
trigger29 View Drop Down
Optics Master Extraordinaire
Optics Master Extraordinaire
Avatar
X = 180 Y = 90 (X+Pyro)+(Y-Pyro) = ?

Joined: September/29/2007
Location: South Dakota
Status: Offline
Points: 4305
Originally posted by Bigdaddy0381 Bigdaddy0381 wrote:

 Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

I see nothing wrong with this one.? It seems the bullitin speaks the truth.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/05/2009 at 10:14
Ed Connelly View Drop Down
Optics Retard
Optics Retard
Avatar
God of no Chihuahua

Joined: December/16/2007
Location: USA
Status: Offline
Points: 24220
 
 
                                                                                               Laugh
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/05/2009 at 14:49
BeltFed View Drop Down
Optics God
Optics God
Avatar

Joined: February/12/2008
Location: Ky
Status: Offline
Points: 16102
Roll on Floor Laughing
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/05/2009 at 14:56
swtucker View Drop Down
Optics Master
Optics Master
Avatar

Joined: September/03/2008
Location: Low Moor
Status: Offline
Points: 1430
Good stuff!!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/05/2009 at 17:09
Ed Connelly View Drop Down
Optics Retard
Optics Retard
Avatar
God of no Chihuahua

Joined: December/16/2007
Location: USA
Status: Offline
Points: 24220
 
 
 
 
 
                                                                  Sad Pacer  Please use the back door..............
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/05/2009 at 18:55
HuntMaster View Drop Down
Optics Professional
Optics Professional
Avatar

Joined: March/19/2007
Location: St Stephens,Al.
Status: Offline
Points: 994
Laugh Above
 Post Reply Post Reply
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Similar Threads: "FUNNY CHURCH BULLETIN TYPOS"
Subject Author Forum Replies Last Post
Inside a church daveco Hot Shots 2
Church Steel Shoot (Pics & Vid Added) Ernie Bishop Shooting 5
Church Steel Shoot (200 yards-1125 yards) Ernie Bishop Shooting 0
Boltface funny stuff.... 8shots Firearms 6
Funny Looking too! Tiras Rifle Scopes 6
funny gun pics Cody.e.Smith Firearms 20
two scopes / two eyes / too funny Rich Coyle Rifle Scopes 63
Funny Story From A Well Know Leupold Personality Obi Wan Kenobi Rifle Scopes 83


This page was generated in 0.359 seconds.