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Topic ClosedDear Abby

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Bigdaddy0381 View Drop Down
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Georgia peach

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Dear Abby
    Posted: April/04/2012 at 11:05
Dillon, was this you?





Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has recently been diagnosed as
a carrier of HIV. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives
in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother
have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are
financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in
Dallas.

I have two brothers. One is serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the
murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is in jail awaiting on
charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Longview. She is a part time 'working girl'.

All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancée and look
forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally
open and honest with her.


Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barack Obama for president?

Signed, Worried About My Reputation
P&Z Firearms , Pro gun cleanings and gun repair and wood refinishing.

Ecclesiastes 10:2
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bugsNbows View Drop Down
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bowsNbugs

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 11:54
LOL. Excellent
If we're not suppose to eat animals...how come they're made of meat?
               Anomymous
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 12:39
That's Funny good one Big Daddy
Regards Chris
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Capt. BlowHard

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 13:27
His family is like a pin ball machine. Pinging all over the great state of Texas.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 13:50
 
  I sure he's already got no reputation to worry about.   
"I ain't got time to bleed!"
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 15:14
Big Daddy, I've told you before not to write me under an assumed name.  NO, you should not expose that poor girl to your sordid past.  Please seek professional help for your addiction to small animals and constant need of budperm's affection. 
Sincerely Abbey.
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show me your sheep!!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 15:43
that was BBBBAAAADDDDDDD
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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stickbow46 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 16:23
ExcellentExcellentExcellentExcellentExcellent What more can I say?
Pearls of Wisdom are Heard not Spoken
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 22:17
So... where does the goat get involved in all this???
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living
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Bigdaddy0381 View Drop Down
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Georgia peach

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 05:58
Originally posted by Dear_Abbey Dear_Abbey wrote:

Big Daddy, I've told you before not to write me under an assumed name.  NO, you should not expose that poor girl to your sordid past.  Please seek professional help for your addiction to small animals and constant need of budperm's affection. 
Sincerely Abbey.


Winner, winner chicken dinner......

It's not really for Bud, Its more for the party favors that graze around his yard.

P&Z Firearms , Pro gun cleanings and gun repair and wood refinishing.

Ecclesiastes 10:2
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show me your sheep!!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 06:11
DAMN!  I'm locking the gate!
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Bigdaddy0381 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 06:12
Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

DAMN!  I'm locking the gate!


I can get in thru the back door.

P&Z Firearms , Pro gun cleanings and gun repair and wood refinishing.

Ecclesiastes 10:2
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show me your sheep!!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 06:13
And whats Dan's fixation with goats!?!!?  has he been hanging around Earl too much?!?!?
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Chief Sackscratch

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 07:23
Originally posted by Bigdaddy0381 Bigdaddy0381 wrote:

Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

DAMN!  I'm locking the gate!


I can get in thru the back door.

Shocked
.
.
.
.
.
.Mouth Taped Shut
"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be" - Abraham Lincoln
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show me your sheep!!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 08:12
Originally posted by Bigdaddy0381 Bigdaddy0381 wrote:

Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

DAMN!  I'm locking the gate!


I can get in thru the back door.

 
The back door has ALWAYS been your preference Brando!  thats why its already booty trapped! Wink
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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jonoMT View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 09:44
Booty trapped?!? This is just getting worse and worse. Remind me to never buy a "used" scope from either of you.
Reaction time is a factor...
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Bigdaddy0381 View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 10:00
Originally posted by jonoMT jonoMT wrote:

Booty trapped?!? This is just getting worse and worse. Remind me to never buy a "used" scope from either of you.


It will have the best polished glass you have ever looked thru.
P&Z Firearms , Pro gun cleanings and gun repair and wood refinishing.

Ecclesiastes 10:2
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show me your sheep!!

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 10:04
just ignore the smell..... Bucky
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 11:58
Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

just ignore the smell..... Bucky
 
Dear Budperm, 'yes' you can alleviate the smell of sheep on your breath by using a whole can of mints.  However, I would recommend you find a more suitable hobby than your current one of well lets just say sheep cleansing.
 
Yours Truely, Abbey
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Bigdaddy0381 View Drop Down
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Georgia peach

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 12:21
Originally posted by Dear_Abbey Dear_Abbey wrote:

Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

just ignore the smell..... Bucky
 
Dear Budperm, 'yes' you can alleviate the smell of sheep on your breath by using a whole can of mints.  However, I would recommend you find a more suitable hobby than your current one of well lets just say sheep cleansing.
 
Yours Truely, Abbey

 
Abbey, Is this first hand experience?
P&Z Firearms , Pro gun cleanings and gun repair and wood refinishing.

Ecclesiastes 10:2
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