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Reasons to think before you speak

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Preston View Drop Down
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    Posted: November/27/2009 at 12:14

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...

or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

 

 

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow

and asked loudly,

'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'

I turned around and walked back out and never went back

My husband didn't say a word...

he knew better.

 

 

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls..

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes,

I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store..

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

 

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a

variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day,my sister has never let me forget.

 

 

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release

some pent-up energy and ran amok.

I was finally able to grab hold of  her after receiving looks of disgust

and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

 

 

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands.

It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked

my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny

had not asked to go potty in a while.

"I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children can live in peace."
Thomas Payne, Revolutionist
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pyro6999 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 12:29
Laugh good ones preston!!
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"
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Dale Clifford View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dale Clifford Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 14:19
wife and I had painted the dining room falsetto blue, went with her to the hardware store to get another can of paint, where she handed the guy the can and said with a straight face "a gallon of felliatio please".  I left.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dogger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 14:22
Good one Dale.  And here I thought it was you we couldn't take anywhere!
God save the Empire!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote trigger29 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 14:25
Originally posted by Dale Clifford Dale Clifford wrote:

wife and I had painted the dining room falsetto blue, went with her to the hardware store to get another can of paint, where she handed the guy the can and said with a straight face "a gallon of felliatio please".  I left.
Thanks Dale! My guts hurt from laughing at that. Can't believe you just left.

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
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Preston View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Preston Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 14:27
Thats a good one
"I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children can live in peace."
Thomas Payne, Revolutionist
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kickboxer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 16:10
Dale, that is hilarious.  

Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ed Connelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 19:07
 
 
 
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Average Joe View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Average Joe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/27/2009 at 19:56
Good Find!
I'm classic shag nasty type.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bricat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/30/2009 at 00:00
Shocked
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