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Reasons to think before you speak |
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Preston
Optics Apprentice Joined: September/13/2009 Location: IOWA Status: Offline Points: 193 |
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Posted: November/27/2009 at 12:14 |
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls' THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,my sister has never let me forget. FOURTH TESTIMONY : While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter. FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. |
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"I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children can live in peace."
Thomas Payne, Revolutionist |
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pyro6999
Optics Retard OT TITAN Joined: December/22/2006 Location: North Dakota Status: Offline Points: 22034 |
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good ones preston!!
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They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead" 343 we will never forget God Bless Chris Ledoux "good ride cowboy" |
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Dale Clifford
Optics Jedi Knight Joined: July/04/2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 5087 |
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wife and I had painted the dining room falsetto blue, went with her to the hardware store to get another can of paint, where she handed the guy the can and said with a straight face "a gallon of felliatio please". I left.
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Dogger
Optics Jedi Master Joined: January/02/2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Status: Offline Points: 8915 |
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Good one Dale. And here I thought it was you we couldn't take anywhere!
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God save the Empire!
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trigger29
Optics Master Extraordinaire X = 180 Y = 90 (X+Pyro)+(Y-Pyro) = ? Joined: September/29/2007 Location: South Dakota Status: Offline Points: 4353 |
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Thanks Dale! My guts hurt from laughing at that. Can't believe you just left.
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"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." |
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Preston
Optics Apprentice Joined: September/13/2009 Location: IOWA Status: Offline Points: 193 |
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Thats a good one
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"I prefer peace. But if trouble must come, let it come in my time, so that my children can live in peace."
Thomas Payne, Revolutionist |
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Kickboxer
MODERATOR Moderator Joined: February/13/2008 Status: Offline Points: 23679 |
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Dale, that is hilarious. |
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Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.
There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living |
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Ed Connelly
Optics Retard God of no Chihuahua Joined: December/16/2007 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 24225 |
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Average Joe
Optics Master Joined: April/24/2008 Status: Offline Points: 2178 |
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Good Find!
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I'm classic shag nasty type.
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bricat
Optics Master Joined: April/24/2007 Location: Michigan Status: Offline Points: 1881 |
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