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Showdown in H-Town

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supertool73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote supertool73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:22
Chuck Norris is suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his right and left legs, respectively.
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
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pyro6999 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pyro6999 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:24
chuck norris uses ribbed condoms inside out so he gets the pleasure
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"
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Ed Connelly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ed Connelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:27
 
 
 
                                                                                 Roll on Floor Laughing
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THE ED SHOW

Ju Cucarachas!!!
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supertool73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote supertool73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:27
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He round house kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light, not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
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supertool73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote supertool73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:28
Chuck Norris doesn't teabag people, he potato sacks them.
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
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supertool73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote supertool73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:29
When you search Chuck Norris on Google and spell his name wrong, it doesn't say "did you mean Chuck Norris", it says "run while you have the chance".
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
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pyro6999 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pyro6999 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:29
comedy central wanted to do a roast of chuck norris, but their wasnt anything funny to say about him
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"
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supertool73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote supertool73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:29
Q:  Why doesn't Chuck Norris have pubes?

A: Hair doesn't grow on steel, so instead steel wool grows there.
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pyro6999 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:31
jesus may have walked on water, but only chuck norris can swim on dry land
They call me "Boots"
375H&H Mag: Yeah, it kills stuff "extra dead"

343 we will never forget

God Bless Chris Ledoux
"good ride cowboy"
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supertool73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote supertool73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:33
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris once visited the "Virgin Islands." They are now simply called "The Islands."

When Chuck Norris falls in the water, he doesn't get 'wet'... the water gets 'Chuck Norris'.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter. 
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
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supertool73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote supertool73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:38
The movie 300 was actually a remake of the movie starring Chuck Norris. It was called 1. And it had a different ending.
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
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supertool73 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote supertool73 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/16/2009 at 13:38
On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000
Lifetime warranty and excellent customer service don't mean a thing when your gun fails during a zombie attack.

"A Liberal is a person who will give away everything they don't own."
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SD Dog View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SD Dog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2009 at 15:14
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.
If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SD Dog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2009 at 15:19
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.
If nobody ever said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth. AP Herbert

Stupidity & ignorance have been the foundation for many certainties.
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Ed Connelly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ed Connelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2009 at 17:51
 
 
 
                                                                                              Eek
Be sure to visit,

THE ED SHOW

Ju Cucarachas!!!
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mike650 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mike650 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:15
“A hunt based only on trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be.” – Fred Bear
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RifleDude View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RifleDude Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:34
If Chuck Norris is running late, then time better slow the f*** down!
Ted


Money can't buy happiness... but it's much more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
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Kickboxer View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kickboxer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:43
Chuck Norris wears Chuck Norris pajamas...
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living
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RONK View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote RONK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:49
 Chuck Norris didn't go to Houston.
 Houston came to him when he called it!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kickboxer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March/17/2009 at 18:53
Originally posted by RONK RONK wrote:

 Chuck Norris didn't go to Houston.
 Houston came to him when he called it!

#1, so far...
Opinion,untempered by fact,is ignorance.

There are some who do not fear death... for they are more afraid of not really living
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