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Political Jabbing - Seperation Agreement |
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scooter65
Optics Master Extraordinaire Joined: December/29/2006 Location: mi Status: Offline Points: 3567 |
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Posted: February/21/2009 at 07:55 |
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To: All American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al. From: John J. Wall - a Conservative American Dear Liberals, Leftists, and Socialists: We've stuck together since the late 1950's, but the latest election process and your bailout stimulus plan has made me realize that I want a divorce. Although we've tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, the sad truth is that the relationship between conservatives and liberals has run its course. Our two ideological sides of We can smile, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, shake hands, and go our own way. But to do that, we'll need a "Separation Agreement." I have drawn one up. I hope you agree with it. SEPARATION AGREEMENT PROPOSAL I propose that our two groups - Conservatives and Liberals - equitably divide up the country by land-mass, each of us taking approximately 50% of the total square miles. I'll concede that this is the most difficult part of the separation agreement, but I'm sure our two sides can come to terms. After that's done, the rest should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. For example, us conservatives don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them! They're all yours! You are also welcome to take the liberal judges, the ACLU, the affirmative action crowd, the NAACP, and the National Organization of Women. We don't want any of them. We also don't want Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. You can have them. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take the firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military, that you hate so much. Along with Pelosi and Reid, you can also have Oprah, Michael Moore, Stone (Oliver and Sharon), and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all of them). We'll take the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, McDonald's and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll take the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks. We'll take the Bibles. You can have all the copies of "Mein Kampf." We'll take Fox News. You can have NBC, CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC and We get Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. You get have Al Franken and Keith Olberman. You can make nice and kiss up with
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RONK
Optics Master Extraordinaire Joined: April/05/2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3199 |
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Good post!
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helo18
Optics Jedi Knight Joined: December/02/2006 Location: Montana Status: Offline Points: 5620 |
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To be prepared for War is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.
GEORGE WASHINGTON |
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billyburl2
Optics Master Extraordinaire Joined: January/08/2009 Location: Cottonwood, AZ Status: Offline Points: 4015 |
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But I kinda like canoes.....
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If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
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RONK
Optics Master Extraordinaire Joined: April/05/2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3199 |
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Oh, I'm sure we'll be able to get you one!
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