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Questions that haunt me..

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lucznik View Drop Down
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    Posted: February/09/2009 at 16:47

 

  1. If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
  2. Can you cry under water?
  3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
  4. Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?  Where's that extra penny going to?
  5. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
  6. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
  7. What disease did cured ham actually have?
  8. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
  9. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
  10. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
  11. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
  12. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
  13. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? (They're going to see you naked anyway.)
  14. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
  15. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
  16. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
  17. Can a hearse carrying  a corpse drive in  the  carpool lane  ?
  18. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? (They're both dogs!)
  19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
  20. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
  21. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  22. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
  23. Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
  24. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
  25. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


Edited by lucznik - February/09/2009 at 16:49
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
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BeltFed View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BeltFed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/09/2009 at 16:57
These questions have been on my mind.....................I'm bored.
Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 300S&W Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/09/2009 at 17:26
  Yep! LOOOOOOOOOONG time til huntin season.   Whacko
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 3_tens Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/09/2009 at 18:53

Rabbit season is still open till March 15 in OKLA. Not much more challenging than a rabbit at 125 Yds in a 35 MPH cross wind with a 17 HMR. or a 22lr.

Folks ain't got a sense of humor no more. They don't laugh they just get sore.

Need to follow the rules. Just hard to determine which set of rules to follow
Now the rules have changed again.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rifle looney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/09/2009 at 18:58
Those questions just make me want too shoot some thing or som....   Monster lets go shooting!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Monster Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/09/2009 at 19:46
Originally posted by rifle looney rifle looney wrote:

Those questions just make me want too shoot some thing or som....   Monster lets go shooting!


I've been waiting!!!!!
"Get Busy Livin' or get busy dyin'" -Red (Shawshank Redemption)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote martin3175 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/09/2009 at 21:48
too much time on somebody's hands ...
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Ed Connelly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ed Connelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/09/2009 at 21:52
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Ick View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ick Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 09:25
I might be able to help with a few of those with some comments.
 
Originally posted by lucznik lucznik wrote:

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
The bigger question, is it possible to disturb the peace in a haunted house?
 
Originally posted by lucznik lucznik wrote:

Can you cry under water?
I bet Al Gore can.
 
Originally posted by lucznik lucznik wrote:

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Ed better not be buried naked.... or we are in serious trouble.
 
Originally posted by lucznik lucznik wrote:

What disease did cured ham actually have?
That is easy, heart disease.
 
Originally posted by lucznik lucznik wrote:

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Sounds like a good contrast between a government run program and free enterprise.  The examples abound, I hadn't thought of this one till just now.
 

Originally posted by lucznik lucznik wrote:

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

It has something to do with our ability to NOT appreciating the position we are in for what it is and ALWAYSs wanting what we don't have currently.
 
Originally posted by lucznik lucznik wrote:

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Sometimes it is about BEATING your opponent, and I mean literally.  If you still have a question on this one ask Nancy Kerrigan about it.  (Or Tanya Harding)
 
Originally posted by lucznik lucznik wrote:

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
No, bailouts come from morons, not morality.
 
Originally posted by lucznik lucznik wrote:

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
See the item above on people looking through binoculars on the top of tall buildings.  Apparently it applies to dogs too.


Edited by Ick - February/10/2009 at 09:27
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geezer View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote geezer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 11:00
A couple more .....
 
Why do you park in a driveway, but drive on a parkway?
 
If it's called sour cream, then why does it have an expiration date?
 
I used to know a bunch of these, but I always forget the good ones.
I would give you my two cents worth, but then you would probably have to give half to the gov't and what good is one penny
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 11:33
Why is the word abbreviated so long?
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ed Connelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 11:37
How does having clean underwear make you more prepared in case you have an accident?    Shocked
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bigdaddy0381 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 11:40
Why dose ear wax taste so bad?
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 11:53
Originally posted by Ed Connelly Ed Connelly wrote:

How does having clean underwear make you more prepared in case you have an accident?    Shocked
 
It doesn't disturb your coma when they pull them off.
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 11:55
Originally posted by Bigdaddy0381 Bigdaddy0381 wrote:

Why dose ear wax taste so bad?
 
 
 
Cause you used your buger picking finger to dig it out!


Edited by budperm - February/10/2009 at 11:55
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ed Connelly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 12:00
" I theenks I weel have to keel thees two hombrés who are always making thee trouble!!  I weel have to tie my riata to their poquito cojones and pull them off with my horse running in thee other direction!  " 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote budperm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 12:32
Originally posted by Ed Connelly Ed Connelly wrote:

" I theenks I weel have to keel thees two hombrés who are always making thee trouble!!  I weel have to tie my riata to their poquito cojones and pull them off with my horse running in thee other direction!  " 
 
 
 
What would you call that move ED??? The Cherry picker or nuts & hombres?


Edited by budperm - February/10/2009 at 12:32
"Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading".
--Thomas Jefferson



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bigdaddy0381 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/10/2009 at 12:36
Ed  would call it "date night"
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