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Congress Passes Highly Anticipated IQ Compensation |
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opticsmike
Optics Apprentice Joined: September/09/2008 Location: Amherst, NY Status: Offline Points: 185 |
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Posted: November/18/2008 at 13:26 |
For Immediate Press Release... The Associalized Press - November 34th, 2011 Congress Passes Highly Anticipated IQ Compensation Bill After a lengthy battle with a handful of stubborn conservative representatives whom staunchly opposed the bill, the president's highly anticipated IQ Compensation Bill was finally passed into law this morning. The IQ Compensation Bill, unfairly targeted as just another tax bill by conservatives, is the final goal in this year's sweeping series of initiatives set forth by the president last year. Following the highly successful passage of WEAK, the Work-Extension-Acknowledgement Bill which now provides for a 6th work day in the week to accommodate the higher costs of the president's new social welfare programs, the IQ Compensation Bill is already expected to support most of the president's new social welfare programs planned for next year.
The Bill, sponsored by House Speaker Antsy Pesoli, acquires the majority of the much needed revenue through the application of the highly-anticipated social IQ contribution addendum to the income tax code. With amazing planning and foresight, the president's plan utilizes the results of last year's nationwide-mandated social IQ tests to determine the our nation's average IQ, which is now utilized as the baseline for the social IQ contribution addendum.
In their fight against this highly popular bill, conservatives have repeatedly failed to appreciate the social benefit and have argued that the social IQ contribution addendum unfairly punishes those with higher IQ test scores because it uses a highly-weighted function to determine individual contribution amounts for those with above average IQ test scores. Although contribution weighting is based upon the square of an individual's IQ test score results above the baseline which are then multiplied into a dollar amount by a factor arbitrarily defined by the president's newly appointed social IQ management team each year, the vast majority are profoundly inspired by the president's speeches about the new bill and are eagerly awaiting to receive their monthly IQ compensation checks in the mail as soon as next month. The social IQ management team has already indicated that those under 13 years of age with 3 or more children will be the first to receive their fair compensation. Early next year, the president is also expected to announce his new Money Tree plan for his global Spead The Bling initiative.
opticsmike, The Associalized Press |
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cyborg
Optics God Gaseous Clay Joined: August/24/2007 Location: North Georgia Status: Offline Points: 12288 |
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With Freedom comes great responsibility, you cannot have one without the other
An armed public are citizens. A disarmed public are subjects. OATH KEEPER #8233 Support us, and join our cause. Cyborg |
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BeltFed
Optics Retard Joined: February/12/2008 Location: Ky Status: Offline Points: 22291 |
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Daa a huh uh a huh, oh boy George, ah huh uh dah I'm gonna get rich George uh-huh. Cause your smarter than me uh-huh an the president says that's not fair daaa uh-huh an your gonna have to pay me a IQ tax uh-huh, so the dumber I get the poorer you get an the richer I get uh-huh. Hay George maybe you coud be dumb too uh-huh then that way we could both be rich uh-huh! Heyyyyy wait just a minute here, if all the smart people turn dumb who's gonna pay the IQ tax???? GEORGE YOU BETTER NOT TURN DUMB, WHO'S gonna make me RICH???
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Life's concerns should be about the 120lb pack your trying to get to the top of the mountain, and not the rock in your boot.
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Steelbenz
Optics Jedi Knight ROLL TIDE ROLL Joined: January/03/2006 Location: Heart of Dixie Status: Offline Points: 5153 |
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Smoke'm if ya got'em!!!
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"Don't argue with a fool! From a distance you can't really tell who's who!"
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Average Joe
Optics Master Joined: April/24/2008 Status: Offline Points: 2178 |
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IQ test.............i'd get a rebate
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I'm classic shag nasty type.
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Ed Connelly
Optics Retard God of no Chihuahua Joined: December/16/2007 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 24225 |
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lucytuma
Optics Jedi Knight Joined: November/25/2007 Location: Wisconsin Status: Offline Points: 5389 |
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What was not completely expained in the bill is : yes you will receive compensation because your are dumb, but because you are to stupid to know how to spend your money it will by default go back to the Government who will spend it for you. |
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"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." - Thomas Jefferson
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opticsmike
Optics Apprentice Joined: September/09/2008 Location: Amherst, NY Status: Offline Points: 185 |
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Anyone see the movie Idiocracy?
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