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FEMA and the Cowboy

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/26/2009 at 08:39
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A cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.

His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.

She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook.She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, cowboy," says the genie. "You know how I work....You have three wishes."

"I'm not falling for this.", said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie."

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is   right..

"OK! I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink"

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."

"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare  gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says..."I wish that no  matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/26/2009 at 12:04
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Well, someone mailed this to the Ed Show so I have got to sign for it......Light It Up
 
 
It was pretty funny...............too bad our government is so bad that it ruins the ending of a joke!!!     Bucky    
 
But it was okay!!!   Roll on Floor Laughing      Laugh        
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/26/2009 at 12:15
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The public can't see the Ed show without a signon ID?  I didn't know that.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/26/2009 at 12:27
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That joke was mailed by UPS and had to go through our editorial department.....and since cyborg is missing and since Bigdaddy clogged up the bathroom, I am here all alone.....Bucky
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/26/2009 at 12:44
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Perhaps Cyborg is the clog in the bathroom.
 
Perhaps you better go check.......
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/26/2009 at 12:46
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I found three incidents where this has happened before....

 

Man's arm trapped in train toilet

TGV train
TGV toilets are equipped with a powerful suction system

A passenger on a French train had to be rescued by firemen after having his arm sucked down the on-board toilet.

The 26-year-old victim was trapped when he tried to fish out his mobile phone, which had fallen into the toilet bowl, and fell foul of the suction system.

The high-speed TGV train had to stop for two hours while firemen cut through the train's pipework.

The man was carried away by emergency services, with the toilet still attached to his arm.

"He came out on a stretcher, with his hand still jammed in the toilet bowl, which they had to saw clean off," said Benoit Gigou, a witness to the man's plight.

The incident happened on Sunday evening, aboard a train travelling in western France between La Rochelle and Paris.

 

Man stuck in toilet for four days

By Ron Moore 11/12/2007

Desperate David Leggat only nipped off to the loo for a minute...but ended up spending four days trapped in a freezing lavatory.

He was in the gents at his local bowling club when the door jammed and the handle fell off - he was stuck with no food and just tap water to drink.

David, 55, tried to keep warm by filling up the sink with hot water and bathing his feet. But for 16 hours each day, it was pitch black. The retired teacher said: "It was dark most of the time because the lights were off and there was a tiny window 12ft up.

"It was difficult to sleep because it was so small and cramped. The tiled floors and walls made it very uncomfortable and even colder."

David, of Hilton, Aberdeen, was finally freed when cleaner Cathy Scollay arrived at Kittybrewster and Woodside Bowling Club and heard his cries.

He added: "The club is not used much during winter so I knew I was in for a very long wait."



Edited by Ick - February/26/2009 at 12:48
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/26/2009 at 19:30
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Sorry Ed, next time I will check with HQ before I go off and randomly post.  
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: February/27/2009 at 01:29
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                                                           Laugh       Roll on Floor Laughing
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: May/01/2009 at 19:27
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 somebody is waisting a perfectly good kid.
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