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Economic Stimulus Program

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/01/2012 at 11:40
cpwomack View Drop Down
Optics Journeyman
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Joined: January/29/2009
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Got this from a friend, thought it might get some enjoyment here.
"Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the   economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

        If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money willgo
        to China or Sri Lanka ..

        If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

        If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
        China .

        If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
        Honduras and Guatemala ..

        If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

       If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

        If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to
        management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

        1) Spending it at yard sales, or

        2) Going to ball games, or
        
        3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

        4) Beer or

        5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

        No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help."

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/01/2012 at 11:44
SVT_Tactical View Drop Down
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Chief Sackscratch

Joined: December/17/2009
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Excellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/01/2012 at 11:47
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Optics Jedi Master
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bowsNbugs

Joined: March/10/2008
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Or, buy more guns! Get some dastardly AK's, AR's and hi cap mags. That will do it!  Excellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/01/2012 at 11:48
BeltFed View Drop Down
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You could always buy American made guns and ammo.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/01/2012 at 11:49
cpwomack View Drop Down
Optics Journeyman
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Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

You could always buy American made guns and ammo.
 
That would be my plan!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/01/2012 at 22:16
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show me your sheep!!

Joined: January/01/2009
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Brilliant! ExcellentExcellentExcellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/02/2012 at 11:06
Son of Ed View Drop Down
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