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Dear Ed....

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/05/2013 at 14:24
cheaptrick View Drop Down
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Do we still have to pay Federal taxes during a shut down??

Signed,
Concerned Taxpayer.


Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/05/2013 at 14:31
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" Dear Cheap-(skate), 

No, because the IRS is closed and only taxes that are automatically taken from your paycheck by your employer will be collected for the moment. But, do not go on a spending spree, because, eventually, Obama will want all that tax money in his grubby little piggy bank.  "










Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/05/2013 at 15:03
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Dear Ed....

I have a fungus and can't seem to be rid of it. It's driving me CRAZY!! 

Please help.

Signed,
Itchy In Indy 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/05/2013 at 15:22
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" 100 grit sandpaper."  






Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/05/2013 at 15:25
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/05/2013 at 15:32
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/06/2013 at 13:58
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Dear Ed...

I'm a man of slight build and mild manner. I weigh 132 and 1/2 pounds wet and am scared of my own shadow. I've been beat on, beat down, (sometimes by members of the opposite sex) and am wanting to start sticking up for myself.

I've looked on the intra webs and found Diemon Dave's Ninja School. This just might be what the doctor ordered. The price is pretty cheap, as Diemon Dave will take food stamps and government cheese for payment. 

Does this look like something that will help me find my manhood? 

Thanks in advance.
Slim Ninja

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/06/2013 at 14:48
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" Maybe, but only if you wear cool underwear. "   






Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/06/2013 at 14:54
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/06/2013 at 16:16
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Dear Ed,

as a newlywed, can one find any truth in the statement below?

In anticipation of your valued response,
Orenthal J Simpson


   Bucky
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/06/2013 at 16:47
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" Dear Orenthal, 

" I am not a newlywed.  Better make a run down the freeway! "  







Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/06/2013 at 17:56
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Hahahaha.....Excellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/06/2013 at 18:06
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/06/2013 at 18:17
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/06/2013 at 18:21
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" Lose the weight, Lady, you look like a Moving Van! "   











" That ought to make her feel Normal!! "  







Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 11:02
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Dear Ed,
Rumor has it you're a genie who can grant wishes. Is this true?

Wishin' in Witchita

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:19
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:21
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:42
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Dear Ed
The other night my wife gave me baked beans, black eyed peas, and sloppy joes for supper. Needless to say, I got a bad case of gas. I had to attend a funeral for a friend's brother and while viewing the body I had to relieve the pressure or die. Since I was the only one viewing the body at the time eased out the built up pressure. Just then a fat lady came up to view the body, and started sniffing the air. She said the funeral home didn't do a very good job of embalming the body and they needed more flowers. Should I have told the lady that it wasn't the body stinking up the place, or should I have told I was going to order a floral arrangement?
signed
Deadly Silent 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:44
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Originally posted by RifleDude RifleDude wrote:

Dear Ed,
Rumor has it you're a genie who can grant wishes. Is this true?

Wishin' in Witchita




Dear Wish-ita, 
 

Not so!!  I wished that my thread would kill Critter Cookin' Café and look what happened! Smile

( Wishing for killing ATTENTION SPAMMERS next!! )  Bucky










Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 12:47
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Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

Dear Ed
The other night my wife gave me baked beans, black eyed peas, and sloppy joes for supper. Needless to say, I got a bad case of gas. I had to attend a funeral for a friend's brother and while viewing the body I had to relieve the pressure or die. Since I was the only one viewing the body at the time eased out the built up pressure. Just then a fat lady came up to view the body, and started sniffing the air. She said the funeral home didn't do a very good job of embalming the body and they needed more flowers. Should I have told the lady that it wasn't the body stinking up the place, or should I have told I was going to order a floral arrangement?
signed
Deadly Silent 


I don't know. I was in the parking lot across the street by the time the lady came up.   
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 13:07
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 14:10
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Originally posted by Son of Ed Son of Ed wrote:

Originally posted by RifleDude RifleDude wrote:

Dear Ed,
Rumor has it you're a genie who can grant wishes. Is this true?

Wishin' in Witchita




Dear Wish-ita, 
 

Not so!!  I wished that my thread would kill Critter Cookin' Café and look what happened! Smile

( Wishing for killing ATTENTION SPAMMERS next!! )  Bucky



DAMMIT! You sure about that?
Cuz I REALLY wish I was Denver Broncos' Wide Receiver Eric Decker!















Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/07/2013 at 16:08
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: October/08/2013 at 15:11
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Have you heard this?

Vladimir Putin allegedly said off the record:
"Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon. The pigeon knocks over all the pieces, craps on the board and then struts around like it won the game."
 
I can maybe see why O is saying he won't negotiate now - Putin must have made him cry....
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