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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 11:05
Bigdaddy0381 View Drop Down
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Dillon, was this you?





Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has recently been diagnosed as
a carrier of HIV. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives
in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother
have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are
financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in
Dallas.

I have two brothers. One is serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the
murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is in jail awaiting on
charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Longview. She is a part time 'working girl'.

All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancée and look
forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally
open and honest with her.


Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barack Obama for president?

Signed, Worried About My Reputation
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 11:54
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LOL. Excellent
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 12:39
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That's Funny good one Big Daddy
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 13:27
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His family is like a pin ball machine. Pinging all over the great state of Texas.
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 13:50
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  I sure he's already got no reputation to worry about.   
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 15:14
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Big Daddy, I've told you before not to write me under an assumed name.  NO, you should not expose that poor girl to your sordid past.  Please seek professional help for your addiction to small animals and constant need of budperm's affection. 
Sincerely Abbey.
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 15:43
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show me your sheep!!

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that was BBBBAAAADDDDDDD
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 16:23
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/04/2012 at 22:17
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So... where does the goat get involved in all this???
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 05:58
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Originally posted by Dear_Abbey Dear_Abbey wrote:

Big Daddy, I've told you before not to write me under an assumed name.  NO, you should not expose that poor girl to your sordid past.  Please seek professional help for your addiction to small animals and constant need of budperm's affection. 
Sincerely Abbey.


Winner, winner chicken dinner......

It's not really for Bud, Its more for the party favors that graze around his yard.

Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 06:11
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show me your sheep!!

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DAMN!  I'm locking the gate!
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 06:12
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Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

DAMN!  I'm locking the gate!


I can get in thru the back door.

Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 06:13
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show me your sheep!!

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And whats Dan's fixation with goats!?!!?  has he been hanging around Earl too much?!?!?
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 07:23
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Originally posted by Bigdaddy0381 Bigdaddy0381 wrote:

Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

DAMN!  I'm locking the gate!


I can get in thru the back door.

Shocked
.
.
.
.
.
.Mouth Taped Shut
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 08:12
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show me your sheep!!

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Originally posted by Bigdaddy0381 Bigdaddy0381 wrote:

Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

DAMN!  I'm locking the gate!


I can get in thru the back door.

 
The back door has ALWAYS been your preference Brando!  thats why its already booty trapped! Wink
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 09:44
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Booty trapped?!? This is just getting worse and worse. Remind me to never buy a "used" scope from either of you.
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 10:00
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Originally posted by jonoMT jonoMT wrote:

Booty trapped?!? This is just getting worse and worse. Remind me to never buy a "used" scope from either of you.


It will have the best polished glass you have ever looked thru.
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 10:04
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show me your sheep!!

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just ignore the smell..... Bucky
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 11:58
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Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

just ignore the smell..... Bucky
 
Dear Budperm, 'yes' you can alleviate the smell of sheep on your breath by using a whole can of mints.  However, I would recommend you find a more suitable hobby than your current one of well lets just say sheep cleansing.
 
Yours Truely, Abbey
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 12:21
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Originally posted by Dear_Abbey Dear_Abbey wrote:

Originally posted by budperm budperm wrote:

just ignore the smell..... Bucky
 
Dear Budperm, 'yes' you can alleviate the smell of sheep on your breath by using a whole can of mints.  However, I would recommend you find a more suitable hobby than your current one of well lets just say sheep cleansing.
 
Yours Truely, Abbey

 
Abbey, Is this first hand experience?
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 12:47
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show me your sheep!!

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Dear Abbey,
                        What might work well for sheep smell would never be strong enough to overcome the heavy, musky smell of Brondo butt and does not to even begin to take into consideration the earthy nutwood aftertones of his enema hot powerwash solution...
 
But thanks for trying, many have...none succeeded! Light It Up
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/05/2012 at 19:38
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Dear Abby,
 
What do you do when you lover is fond of eating corn?
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/06/2012 at 12:32
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Originally posted by jonoMT jonoMT wrote:

Dear Abby,
 
What do you do when you lover is fond of eating corn?
 

Well Jon, that is an excellent question especially considering the audience here.  Many will benefit from this advice.
 
As you know, Dear Abbey feels flowers and chocolates are over done and well lets just say passe`.  I believe the perfect date night out gift would be a bushel of corn with a small jar of hoof cream.  This is a wonderful way to say, your important to me and your needs come first.  It will go a long way to warming up the evening. 
 
Hope this keeps the fires burning strong!
 
Yours truly,
 
Abbey
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/06/2012 at 12:49
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Dear Abbey (sorry about misspelling your name before),
 
I rarely write back on the same topic, but I realized I didn't make myself as clear as I should have. My lover is not an animal even though "Pat" acts like one! This is more of a texture problem, if you know what I mean.
Direct Link To This Post Posted: April/06/2012 at 19:06
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show me your sheep!!

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Dear Jon,
                You've obviously never seen a french tickler...the more "texture" the better.
 
Happily yours for the taking
 
Abbey
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