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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/18/2009 at 20:50
Average Joe View Drop Down
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Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Biscuit, the Wonder Dog.
I was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.



What did she think I had, an elephant? Since I'm retired and have little to do,
except to think of ways to mess with peoples minds.
I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.



I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is you load your
pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.



I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.



Costco won't let me shop there anymore.Loco
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/18/2009 at 22:50
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what dicks, no sense of humor!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2009 at 01:16
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No wonder we don't hace COSTCO in Oklahoma.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2009 at 17:02
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Thunbs Up
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2009 at 17:04
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Roll on Floor Laughing
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2009 at 21:42
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show me your sheep!!

Joined: January/01/2009
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Bow  Send that one to Bill Engvall.
 
Here's your sign!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/20/2009 at 11:23
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Sounds like the time when a fellow culb member put some dry dog food and BBQ sauce in a fryinf pan on the stove, and waited for the first sucker. He didn't have to wait long. The funniest thing, was the sucker ate a whole plate full.
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