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Congress Passes Highly Anticipated IQ Compensation

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2008 at 13:26
opticsmike View Drop Down
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For Immediate Press Release...

The Associalized Press - November 34th, 2011

Congress Passes Highly Anticipated IQ Compensation Bill

After a lengthy battle with a handful of stubborn conservative representatives whom staunchly opposed the bill, the president's highly anticipated IQ Compensation Bill was finally passed into law this morning. The IQ Compensation Bill, unfairly targeted as just another tax bill by conservatives, is the final goal in this year's sweeping series of initiatives set forth by the president last year.

Following the highly successful passage of WEAK, the Work-Extension-Acknowledgement Bill which now provides for a 6th work day in the week to accommodate the higher costs of the president's new social welfare programs, the IQ Compensation Bill is already expected to support most of the president's new social welfare programs planned for next year.
 
The Bill, sponsored by House Speaker Antsy Pesoli, acquires the majority of the much needed revenue through the application of the highly-anticipated social IQ contribution addendum to the income tax code. With amazing planning and foresight, the president's plan utilizes the results of last year's nationwide-mandated social IQ tests to determine the our nation's average IQ, which is now utilized as the baseline for the social IQ contribution addendum.
 
In their fight against this highly popular bill, conservatives have repeatedly failed to appreciate the social benefit and have argued that the social IQ contribution addendum unfairly punishes those with higher IQ test scores because it uses a highly-weighted function to determine individual contribution amounts for those with above average IQ test scores. Although contribution weighting is based upon the square of an individual's IQ test score results above the baseline which are then multiplied into a dollar amount by a factor arbitrarily defined by the president's newly appointed social IQ management team each year, the vast majority are profoundly inspired by the president's speeches about the new bill and are eagerly awaiting to receive their monthly IQ compensation checks in the mail as soon as next month. The social IQ management team has already indicated that those under 13 years of age with 3 or more children will be the first to receive their fair compensation. Early next year, the president is also expected to announce his new Money Tree plan for his global Spead The Bling initiative.

opticsmike, The Associalized Press

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2008 at 13:28
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2008 at 16:39
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Daa a huh uh a huh, oh boy George, ah huh uh dah I'm gonna get rich George uh-huh. Cause your smarter than me uh-huh an the president says that's not fair daaa uh-huh an your gonna have to pay me a IQ tax uh-huh, so the dumber I get the poorer you get an the richer I get uh-huh. Hay George maybe you coud be dumb too uh-huh then that way we could both be rich uh-huh!                  Heyyyyy wait just a minute here, if all the smart people turn dumb who's gonna pay the IQ tax????    GEORGE YOU BETTER NOT TURN DUMB, WHO'S gonna make me RICH???
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2008 at 16:43
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2008 at 17:18
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IQ test.............i'd get a rebate
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2008 at 17:39
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Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

Daa a huh uh a huh, oh boy George, ah huh uh dah I'm gonna get rich George uh-huh. Cause your smarter than me uh-huh an the president says that's not fair daaa uh-huh an your gonna have to pay me a IQ tax uh-huh, so the dumber I get the poorer you get an the richer I get uh-huh. Hay George maybe you coud be dumb too uh-huh then that way we could both be rich uh-huh!                  Heyyyyy wait just a minute here, if all the smart people turn dumb who's gonna pay the IQ tax????    GEORGE YOU BETTER NOT TURN DUMB, WHO'S gonna make me RICH???
 
 
                                                                                                          Roll on Floor Laughing
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/18/2008 at 18:41
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What was not completely expained in the bill is : yes you will receive compensation because your are dumb, but because you are to stupid to know how to spend your money it will by default go back to the Government who will spend it for you.

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: November/19/2008 at 10:51
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Anyone see the movie Idiocracy?
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