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Celibacy

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/06/2012 at 16:11
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Optics Jedi Knight
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guys...don't make this mistake.

A word to the wise....
A Life of Celibacy




What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life
or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann, listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

He then addressed the men.
“Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?”

Frank leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently and whispered,
“Gold Medal-All-Purpose, Isn't it?”

And thus began Frank's life of celibacy.



Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/06/2012 at 16:15
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What a goofball!  Everybody knows a woman likes Martha Whites best!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/06/2012 at 16:19
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Excellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/06/2012 at 18:08
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I WOULD HAVE TO BE A BLOOMING IDIOT TO SAY THAT TO MY WIFE Shocked

LIKE THA'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE Whacko
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/09/2012 at 10:56
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Women like flowers?!?
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/09/2012 at 11:25
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Originally posted by jonoMT jonoMT wrote:

Women like flowers?!?
I guess... not really sure what they want.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/09/2012 at 11:36
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bowsNbugs

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My wife just came in from cutting the grass...I'll ask her. LOL Big Grin
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/09/2012 at 11:39
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Originally posted by bugsNbows bugsNbows wrote:

My wife just came in from cutting the grass...I'll ask her. LOL Big Grin
Great, now I have to clean my roast beef sandwich off my screen.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/09/2012 at 11:54
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Originally posted by bugsNbows bugsNbows wrote:

My wife just came in from cutting the grass...I'll ask her. LOL Big Grin


Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/09/2012 at 13:30
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/09/2012 at 13:47
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Was watching TD Jakes the other day and he nailed the flower deal. Its not the flowers it the WOW! factor. You gotta give her the flowers infront of witnesses. How much you WOW the witnesses determines the return on the gift. I don't care what her name is Vanity is her middle name!!!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/09/2012 at 13:58
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ExcellentExcellentExcellent .....  ?   ShockedShockedShocked!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/10/2012 at 07:32
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I guess I'm lucky.  My wife prefers White Lilly Flour. Wink
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/10/2012 at 09:40
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A weeks ago, I found out my wife had cut me off 2 years ago, but she couldn't remember why, and I didn't know that she had.

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/10/2012 at 10:40
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bowsNbugs

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Originally posted by BeltFed BeltFed wrote:

A weeks ago, I found out my wife had cut me off 2 years ago, but she couldn't remember why, and I didn't know that she had.



What, she broke your hands?
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/10/2012 at 15:30
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If women ever figured out the power of sex to their husbands they'd adjust their biologolical clocks. There'd be alot less need for nagging. Cool
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/17/2012 at 09:30
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show me your sheep!!

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I doubt it sarge.  That would require a woman to be silent for extended periods of time! Whacko
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2012 at 06:32
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show me your sheep!!

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Originally posted by Alan Robertson Alan Robertson wrote:

Originally posted by jonoMT jonoMT wrote:

Women like flowers?!?
I guess... not really sure what they want.
 Now thats easy!!!!!   Anything you tell them they can't have! Loco
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2012 at 06:47
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My wife thinks flour is only to be used when frying fish, are there other uses. She's leaving on a cruise with her sister on Saturday, just me and the 3 Springers for a week.

Peddler Big Grin
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2012 at 07:28
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show me your sheep!!

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Originally posted by Peddler Peddler wrote:

My wife thinks flour is only to be used when frying fish, are there other uses. She's leaving on a cruise with her sister on Saturday, just me and the 3 Springers for a week.

Peddler Big Grin
 
 
    Snoopy   Oh Yea Baby   BoozerPAR TAY TIME!!!
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2012 at 07:29
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Originally posted by Peddler Peddler wrote:

My wife thinks flour is only to be used when frying fish, are there other uses. She's leaving on a cruise with her sister on Saturday, just me and the 3 Springers for a week.

Peddler Big Grin
Looks like you and my father agree about being married awhile.  You dont't care where the wife goes as long as you don't have to go with her Bandito
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2012 at 07:41
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A WHILE?!?!?!?!
 
I figured that out on our first clothes shopping trip!!!!!!  I bought 3 pairs of pants and 3 dress shirts.  Time elapsed 25 minutes. 
 
The Ex touched every garment in the women's department at least three times including sizes that would never fit her..when asked she was just checking styles... Then she tried on 12 shirts and 8 pants,  bought 3 of the shirts and 2 of the pants.  elapsed time 3.5 hours!!!!!!
 
Oh and she returned two of the shirts and one of the pants the next week.... came back empty handed 4 hours later after having "window shopped" a little bit! Loco
 
That was the last time I went shopping with her!!!  I told her I couldn't  spend that much time shopping unless it was a hardware or gun store, and meant it! Big Grin
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2012 at 07:43
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Originally posted by magshooter1 magshooter1 wrote:

Originally posted by Peddler Peddler wrote:

My wife thinks flour is only to be used when frying fish, are there other uses. She's leaving on a cruise with her sister on Saturday, just me and the 3 Springers for a week.

Peddler Big Grin
Looks like you and my father agree about being married awhile.  You dont't care where the wife goes as long as you don't have to go with her Bandito


10-4 on the trip magshooter, that's her trip and I'm headed for the rifle season in Kansas, it opens the Wednesday after Thanksgiving.

Peddler YippeeYippeeYippeeYippeeYippee
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2012 at 09:34
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My wife is on the South Beach diet; flour has been banned from the houseSad
Mom couldn't cook without flour; I miss mom.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: July/19/2012 at 10:27
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show me your sheep!!

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Just becauseshe is dieting doesn't mean you have too...
 
So, IF you have the cahonies, eat a dounut in front of her.....and since it will probably be your last, make it a jelly filled one! Hippie
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