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BREAKING NEWS -- PETA activists missing...

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 08:27
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Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally

Posted on January 07, 2010.


Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.

“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.

“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”

When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 09:23
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Ya'll come back now, ya hear!

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 12:45
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First rule of motorcycle club, don't talk about motorcycle club
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 13:03
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This smells of Bigdaddy and Budperm
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 13:46
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 14:28
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I think thats the funniset thing Ive heard or read all year, or last year for that matter..Leather Activists, LIBERALS gone BERZERK is what they are...Thats just to damn funny...Really brings in the true meaning of PISS on EM, ya gotta love it..Roll on Floor Laughing

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 15:04
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That is funny.  Have not been harassed while riding my cycle though.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 18:59
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This is the big talk here in Pa right now

Prooves how smart these people are.  Everyone knows you don't mess with a bunch of partying bikers. Big Grin
 
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 19:15
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Couldn't let this go... Although it's funny, you guys do realize we have 16" of snow in PA and not too many biker events going on in January
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 19:51
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Bucky          PETA Activists??  
 
 
    
 
 
 
 
                                              Bucky
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 19:55
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Well that makes sense, but whats up with ol Mr Duct Tape there??? He's got Flip Flops on so its not winter.....The story sounds pretty realistic to me, but people do have great imaginations too..
 
TED WHERE ARE YO00000U?Big Grin
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 22:08
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lol.  unfortunately this is a spoof.  A guy duck taped to a tree would have died from exposure after a few hours.  it is something like five degrees farenheit with the wind chil.  Furthermore we have about a foot and a half of snow everywhere.
 
Johnstown is about 20 minutes from me.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/13/2010 at 22:33
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Sigh, Finally a story I actually liked and its all a lieStare
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/14/2010 at 00:28
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I think we have found another good use for duck tape though. Devil
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/14/2010 at 01:24
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This is true WesWhatever
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/14/2010 at 09:14
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We had a camp counselor that was a royal pain in the ass.  On the last night we hauled him to the woods and duct taped him to a tree.  It was a balmy evening in the 70's and the skeeters ate well.
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: January/14/2010 at 10:29
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Originally posted by SD Dog SD Dog wrote:

We had a camp counselor that was a royal pain in the ass.  On the last night we hauled him to the woods and duct taped him to a tree.  It was a balmy evening in the 70's and the skeeters ate well.
 
Skeeters?  Thats the state bird of North Carolina.
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