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And..That's How The Fight Started

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/26/2009 at 13:52
Chris Farris View Drop Down
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Joined: October/01/2003
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> One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
> as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
> When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used
the
> gift I bought you last year!"
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ************ ********* ********* *********
> ******************
>
> My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the TV?"
> I replied "Dust".
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* *********
> *********
>
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror and she is not

> happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
> look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* *********
> *********
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
> anniversary.
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
> seconds.
> I bought her a scale.
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* *********
> *********
>
> I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
> 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
> So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
> And that's when the fight started....
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* *********
> *********
>
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were

> in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
> 'No,' she answered.
> I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
> So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
> And that's when the fight started....
>
> ************ ********* ********* *********
> ****************** *********
> *****
>
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

> expensive.
> So, I took her to a gas station.
> And that's when the fight started.....
>
> ************ ********* ********* *********
> ****************** *********
> ******
>
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
> I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold
> cream.
> And that's when the fight started.....
>
> ************ ********* ********* *********
> ****************** *********
> ******
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I

> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
> a nearby table.
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
> I understand she took to
> drinking right after we split up
> those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
> 'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?'
> And that's when the fight started...
>
> ************* ********** **********
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
> Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
> driver's license to verify my age.
> I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
> I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
> and come back later.
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,'
and

> she processed my Social Security application.
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
> Social Security office.
> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
> Disability, too'
> And that's how the fight got started.....
>
> ************ ********* ********* ********* *********
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
> order first.
> 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please..'
> The waiter said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
> And that's how the fight got started....
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/26/2009 at 14:07
BeltFed View Drop Down
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Roll on Floor Laughing
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/26/2009 at 14:17
scooter65 View Drop Down
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I'm all teared up...... sniffle...........
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/26/2009 at 15:59
bugsNbows View Drop Down
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bowsNbugs

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Now those are good.  Excellent
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: August/26/2009 at 18:13
Ed Connelly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/05/2009 at 13:19
3_tens View Drop Down
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After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Forty-four years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old girl.

Now I have a $500,000 home, a $50,000.00 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 21-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

And thats how the fight started...

Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/05/2009 at 15:05
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OT TITAN

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Originally posted by 3_tens 3_tens wrote:

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Forty-four years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old girl.

Now I have a $500,000 home, a $50,000.00 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 21-year-old girl and she would ma
ke sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

And thats how the fight started...

Shocked
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)     Back to Top Direct Link To This Post Posted: September/07/2009 at 17:29
Ed Connelly View Drop Down
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